D D What I need is a clip board with pen and paper

tied around my waist.
If I don't write some things down right away....I forget exact words used.
For instance......After not seeing the whites of Jill's eyes from 1p.m. to 6 p.m., I called her cell.
First I got the message thingie....think I gave a dispirited hello.....then paused and hung up.
Seconds later she calls the house phone.  "Was that you or Logan trying to get me?"
Told her it was me.. ..she gave me the what's up thingie... told her it doesn't feel like we are working together like a family.  Gives me the "why."  Tried to explain, but was just down and out .  You don't do things around here that much, consequencely I don't feel up to doing anything either, I told her.
What can I do to help , she said. Look I told you that there was no guarantee I will marry Butchie...
Me.....Like, HUH!!!!!  to myself
Her; Last night I just wanted to rest after we ate and came home. I was tired from working all day and just wanted to get into my pj's and watch tv.  He ended up calling me a .............now that's where I lost the words she said. Was it an efffin idiot, an efffin asshole ??????
No matter....it was a derogatory remark he used.
Her:  He left mad at midnight and was back in minutes saying he was sorry. Saying he knows he has promised me he would never call me a bad name again and he went and did it again.. Sorry,sorry,sorry. 
Same old shit as the past two years..................................my thoughts.
I told her when they both drink.... that is where the problem is with them.
She said neither of them was drunk. Had one drink before they went out, 2 with their meal and one drink ? somewhere else.
During this conversation I did find out she was over her friends Bonnie and ? house.  They were eating...not her though.  She ate this morning, made herself a big breakfast..  Told her she needed to eat more than one meal a day.
Now I know that Bonnie and ? are on the same level as my daughter. Drink too much and I'm sure they were drinking before my call. Told me she would be home soon. Almost 8 p.m.
Glad I didn't hold my breath.  I shit you not!
Geezus...hubby would have loved to hear her say things are back to the same way with Butchie. NOT!
Her: I told him " strike one."
Me: Now you sound like I did with your dad. Everytime he hurt me, I told him I was taking a piece of my heart back and he would laugh ( probably a nervous laugh), but whatever....eventually he did not have my heart.          Signed all my letters ,cards,ect......You Have My Heart.
Told her that she falls for and marries the wrong kind of guys, like I did.
  Now I remember names..Bonnie and Donna.  Well this moment in time anyway.  sigh!
Tried to convey how weary I am.... don't think I was even heard.

   Cooked supper for hubby, Logan, Kenny and myself. It was a chore and an even bigger chore to clean up my mess.  Doing it in intervals.  No stamina.  Dropped a container of leftover beans on the kitchen floor putting stuff back in the fridge.  Another mess to clean up.  sigh!
Never touched a shed today........dozed off from noon to one.  Managed to ferilize the tomatoes and cukes.
Got us both to the chiropractor around 4.... Other than that, it was another wasted day.
   Realized that I missed Lady's dog groomer appointment Thursday afternoon, sometime this morning.
Won't be the first time.......nor the last.
Logan has had many,many friends in and out today. Which means the dogs yap,yap,yap evertime someone comes in and goes out.  My nerves are shot.  Now it's down to kenny and a Ryan and he wants to know if Ryan can sleep over too.  No can do.......maybe another time...Maybe.
Now if Jill was home....she could handle this instead of papa getting upset with him pleading his case.
No means NO to papa.  Case closed.  I shit you not!
  10 p.m. No Jill.  Nothing new, but it is still disheartening.
Gave up in the kitchen. The dishes are done. Good enough!   The shit I acquired can wait.  I have oriole food...never saw a one this year. Hummingbird food...never used it. Instead made my own and have not seen a one. African violet food. That plant bit the dust ages ago. Plant food ...I sometimes have a house plant, flowering and non flowering plant food stakes, humidifier stuff, hot and cold packs, a deep fryer, air pop corn popper ...just on that one counter and along side the microwave setting up above it.
Then there are the recipes, some off the printer and some torn out of a magazine. The cabinet up above is crammed with recipe books.
The 4 drawers under that one cabinet.I don't even want to go there. I shit you not!
While I don't consider myself to be a hoarder, I definately am a pack rat.  Might need this stuff if I toss it out.
I could see an African violet that screams " take me home."
  I c o u l d...........and it has ; 0 )
Maybe an oriole will show up before winter comes....it c o u l d.
Have spices A to Z in another cabinet. Some I might use once a year, some not even then....Others I use often...but if a recipe I try calls for something...damnit I have it.
I'm a work of art....................hopeless. LOL
Now I'm going out to shut the pool pump off ...after I see if the coast is clear of any skunks. Have taken my Advil PM.  Getting into my pj's and going off to dreamland where things are not as disorganized as my life.
Last night there was just a rug someone put down on my diningroom floor. Was the colors of Dunkin Donut. Browns , pinks in an ugly pattern. Woke up from that nightmare and poof...problem was solved.
Wish life was that easy
Oh Hell !!!   Hubby just went in to use the bathroom and yelled " where have you got the water running?"
Forgot I was adding water to the pool. Let's just say that..........................the tide is HIGH.
I shit you not!... Pool pump shut off and it's adios amigos. .

   It's the last day of July.   When was it that the days of the week were shortened????
Ten.........twenty years back?  Some time back then, I noticed it. 

Fell asleep near midnight. Woke to Lady's low, tiny whine to be let out to pee at 5:30 a.m.
Used the bathroom myself and walked to the end of the kitchen.
Yep, her bedroom door was shut, which meant she was home.....
Beautiful sleeping weather..........crawled back under the sheet and thin blanket and went back to dreamland.
Hubby woke at 7:30  and his getting out of bed ...woke me.
He's in a good mood.   Even thanked me for bringing him his cup of Salada green tea.
Words can mean alot. 

The kitchen looks the same as it did when I left it. Stove needs a damned good cleaning too.
That Fairy Godmother I've been waiting for......hasn't shown herself still. 
Helps to joke about it.   I shit you not!

   Jill is up. Suspect Butchie is here too. Sometimes he leaves the station 15 minutes before his shift ends.  shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
On Facebook one or both are saying....we need to take a picture of the 2 of us together.
Have they forgot that I asked them to stop so I could take their picture before they went to a wake this month ???     If so, they must have alot on their minds. 
I took most of my information out of Facebook. Just not into it that much and hear so many bad stories.
What's everyone's take on that? 
    Looked in the ex SIL from Hell's.... 72 pictures of where he is in Wyoming. The puke is in some of them.
He is driving home. Heard her tell Logan he will be home tomorrow and he will be home 10 days and off to MS to begin another year of  law school.   Three weeks internship is over . 
I did email the Executive Director to tell her he is a deadbeat parent and another person deserved that free internship much more.
We corresponded back and forth. While he did admit up front that he had 2 felony convictions to he & was off probation, she was unaware that he was a deadbeat parent. 
This was her first year serving in her position and she was very sympathetic.
She had no guidelines to go by and in the future the 3 candidates they chose each year for free internships will be investigated more........including their current standing in child support payments.
This is  an excerpt from her email to me..
"You are very correct in point out to us that we need to be more diligent in checking out the character and qualifications of our interns.
Honestly, Mrs.------, this is my first year as the new Executive Director and I was not informed of any guidelines or criteria that my predecessor used when inviting our interns.  Again, Gil was referred to us by a credible alumni who knows him through the MS law school and I simply took her word for it.  I know she has good character, but you have made me realize that I was a bit too trusting and I will not make that mistake in the future. "
   So while she received his information too late to act upon it ....future  intern candidates will be screened better.  We are in agreement that deadbeat parents deserve nothing.
Of course he got what he wanted....always has. 
   It is right here that I will say..........If I am alive...........if he passes the bar exam and gets employment.
I will make a sign up ,saying:   A deadbeat parent works here.... and parade back and forth in front of that office.  That won't be until at least 3 years away.
Bitter......you say!   You betcha!
   Already he is telling Logan that he is going to buy a plane and teach him and Erzi how to fly it.
Erzi will be the youngest at 12 years of age to have his pilot license.. Folk's I don't think so. Kids are flying solo trips from what i have read.
This puke fills their heads with shit.
As Papa so nicely put it when Logan said it again at the supper table last night.
"Don't get you hopes up Logan. Sometimes things don't go as planned."
Which efffin surprised me he said that instead of nothing. 
He's more.your father has efffin pipe dreams....but we keep those thoughts to ourselves.         
As it should be.
He had a plane once while married to my daughter.  Used her inheritance from her father to buy it.
Went in half with my second oldest son.  Once divorced he sold it and gave my son his return on the monies.
Oh yeah!  He likes to tell people he had to sell it because of HER ( the bitch ).
Remembering back to hearing young voices saying, mommy why did you make daddy sell his plane?
He says you made him sell it.
Talking derogatory about his ex in front of his children was the norm for him.
Judges caution you not to... ... in one ear and out the other.
Printed on his checks was...."My way or the highway"...   back when they were married.
  Butchie was in front of the livingroom computer when I got my second cup of coffee.
Like the fire station , we pay for it.  His has been cancelled for non payment for I don't know how long.
Think I made a mistake about his finances a few posts back. 
If I said he was 40K in debt, I meant to say 400K.  In talking to Jill yesterday she mentioned that sum.
He has to get out from under that kind of debt before she will marry him.
Again, not to put  jinx on this .....can't see it happening.  Have seen no positive signs.
  It's 9 a.m. THX  D  D  as always for letting me get a load off................. 
My mantra each morning should be....to the dump, to the dump.
If all this was on paper.........it would weigh a ton.... I shit you not!
Writers cramps.....I'm in pain just thinking about it.
When I reach those pearly gates I can say...Lord I saved some trees, but I ruined alot of eyesight. :  0 )
  Now...........do I want to go ask questions about LAST NIGHT ?  Of course it would be out of hubby's ear shot.     Female here..........knows best.
That's All Folks!