D D Happier times

 I'd be lying to myself if I said there were no warning signs . Hubby showed his "true colors " almost from the beginning.

I was sooooooooo in love, if he said squat and strain...I would have asked "where."

Who knows what makes some of us TICK!

There were some times ( a few ) that I told him " he was NOT MY FATHER" , to be met with, " pack my bags."   Boooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooooo! Little did I know of what was to come.

SO THIS WAS US AT 40 after ten years of living together ( and if ten years isn't time enough to get to know each other ...He was a CONTROLLER  and still I married him.  Yeah...and he married me. The ass kisser, the pleaser, the obedient one, the chief COOK and bottle washer, homemaker, sex partner.

Soooooooooo where am I going with all this................ last night close to midnight Jill and the W.B. came home after an evening of eating and drinking and she will admit and did...that she had too much to drink, BUT it didn't give hubby the RIGHT TO COP A FEEL or say what he said to her.

He hears them come in as he was using his pot and Lady and Cash came into our room to be let out to pee after they greeted the two late arrivals. Hubby offered to let them out after he finished peeing and did.  Next thing I know he is headed out of our bedroom and I asked him where he was going. "To shit", he replied haughtedly. My eyes followed him out our door to the bathroom and Jill offered to help him in the bathroom. Saw her close the door for him. What I didn't see or hear was him putting a hand out to cop a feel and hear him say, " my dick is so hard." 

She immediately stepped in my room and told me. "Ma...we are going to handle him . I can handle him. " When he shakily made his way back to our bed...she began by telling him she WAS HIS DAUGHTER. YOU ARE MY DAD. I'M SORRY IF I REMIND YOU OF MY MOTHER, BUT I AM YOUR DAUGHTER!  he kept saying..uh huh, uh huh. "Now who am I dad? To which he would reply, my daughter. She told him that he should start showing us both some respect. I'll take care of you til you die, but there will NEVER BE ANY SEX BETWEEN US. NEVER, you hear me! There were times he acted like he had no idea why they were having this conversation and I would interject ....cause you copped a feel.   She told him that he spoke inappropriate words to her. " I did" ??? "YES...YOU DID! NEVER TOUCH ME AGAIN LIKE THAT! UNDERSTAND!

When she did leave our room to go to bed, he immediately said as in speaking to me, "what magic words did you use to get her to leave."  Told him no magic words, he was NAILED and she had spoken her mind. Then I laid there IN THOUGHT....and I noticed he was laying there awake too. Got up and sat at my computer. he asked me what i was doing and I told him I was thinking of getting in my car and driving off.   After awhile...common sense took over and I climbed back in bed and fell asleep. I don't even remember if I laid awake...or I just CRASHED.

So here it is ....a Saturday morning and to anyone looking in on us...it's just another typical morning after a not so typical night.  I did want to say to him....and  WILL, AT LEAST LET ME MOURN YOUR DEATH. You continue like this and I WON'T SHED A TEAR! .

It's almost 10 a.m.  I didn't even finish my second cup of coffee before I was doing what I usually do to " let off steam."  This time...it was cleaning the squirrels cage...thorougly ...and putting WD 40 on his exercize wheel.  Wasn't long into this when hubby decides to walk to the kitchen....to excercize.  Heard him say to Butchie..."Thanks for helping me last night. Hope I didn't get any pee on you."

I'm THINKING...WTF!  Am I hearing right????????????? So i asked him when he came back to our room why he was thanking Butchie.  he tells me that he helped him into the bathroom last night and onto the toilet and pulled his pullup down and up. Jill was there too.  HUH??????????????  

Like where the fuck was I when this went down??? that's not what my eyes saw. BUT to make certain i went and asked Butchie....nope he never was in the bathroom, never helped him. I KNEW IT....BUT I still needed thae confirmation I wasn't loosing it. I saw ONLY HUBBY emerge from that bathroom while Jill was talking to me! 

Once back in my bedroom I asked right out.... Do you want Michelle to know what you have been doing ? ....no answer..Do you care if I even shed a tear when you die and mourn you?  You could at least give me that! Again....  I get the old, 'what did I do?"  LOUD and CLEAR, I told him!  No denying....no admitting from him.  Minutes later I was down at the sink rinsing a rag out and Jill, Butch and I had some more conversation. When I came back into our room he asked me if we were still talking about him. Told him...YES!

I KNOW MY HUSBAND....and there is now way on God's Green Earth that if he was INNOCENT that he would take any ( what he would call ) shit from me.  He'd be BLOWING A GASKET! I shit you not!

Michelle already has been told what's going on by Jill. They are close.  She has asked me if I want to let him know that she knows and she will confront him. I think this coming Wednesday, their American Idol watching  together evening...IT"S TIME!

WE ARE NOT SWEEPING EACH THING UNDER THE RUG...any longer! No more sucking it up....nor making excuses like he has dementia or any other fucking brain problem.  Jill and I are in agreement....confront, CONFRONT it head on.

No more holding it in!

Bugsy has a clean, deoderized cage, Ginger has a clean sanitized pee box.....and I FEEL BETTER for speaking my mind. I shit you not! Oh, I'm not saying that there won't be a next time.....BUT I'll be damned if either one of us ( Jill or I ) will stay silent.

During one of our conversations ( Jill, Butchie and I ) he made mention that Jill only had one glass of wine and got soused on it.   Now I know that if you don't eat, you get drunk easy, BUT I saw her eat a good breakfast.  hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm  ....can't let that weigh me down. For whatever reason...it was what it was!  He didn't say that she stopped after that first glass of wine and I don't think she did. BUT like she said to me last night, just because she is drunk, it should not make him( hubby) think he can cop a feel or say sexual in nature things to her. ...CORRECT!

Whether she has been sober or drunk....he has NO RIGHT !

Hardly seems the right time to mention this......

My cruise and air flight tickets have been purchased. I leave here March 19th and come back April 3rd.  Jill told hubby last night that I deserve this vacation and she will not let him ruin it for me. She will make sure that he has what he needs while I'm gone....IN THE CAPACITY OF HIS DAUGHTER!

I still haven't eaten breakfast and I keep letting my coffee get cold.  Time to get off the " woe is me" bandwagon and do something about that. 

(((hugs)))Pat

That's All Folks!

D D A troubled nights sleep

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
My son Randy called me just before I posted last night. Seems....he may have,got himself in some TROUBLE with the LAW!
While he was away from his place of residence, the law came to his door while he was out,  and Debbie his girlfriend answered their knock. He took two packages left by UPS, Fedex???? from someones door and the condo association may have him on camera.  THAT's  ALL he can think of that he has done wrong! Yeah, right!  " Don't worry mom, I'm going to park my car and walk to my house, sleep, and in the morning go to the police station and see why they were at the house.  Yeah...you read that right. Don't worry mom.  sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh   The reason for his call was he might need....bail money.
I don't know what makes THIS SON TICK. From the time he could walk.....there are NO WORDS, except you wanted to beat his ass to Hell. BRAIN DEAD. I shit you not!  Life is A JOKE WITH HIM!
He KNOWS how much heartache I have had with his sister Jill, sympathizes with me, tells me to KICK HER TO THE CURB........ knows how much heartbreak he has given me AND YET THIS!
   After I did manage to fall asleep, waking now and then in pain to change position, at 2:08 a.m. I had to get up and pee.  Getting back into bed...one of hubby's arms was under me ( as it was,  my knees were hanging off the bed ) and he moaned , groaned and said,"holy shit". From there he continued....moaned , groaned, sat on his potty for a good ten minutes trying to eliminate all the urine he felt he had in him....moaning and groaning and groaning and moaning. I have never heard soooooo many different ways that someone can audibly make known that .....what word am I looking for here??????????  they have or are...in pain.   At this very moment he is doing it....just had to pee again at 7:25 a.m.  ( Geez , he did better than me at holding it.  I woke to pee again at 6:30.) So back to 2 a.m. .................... He insisted he was not on my side of the bed.....I was the one that rolled onto, sat, on his arm on his side of the bed. ( OMG NOW...he is rehashing this same thing after asking me where his morning coffee is.) It was all in the same breath. sighhhhhhhhhhh  NOW...I could get the ( ?CARD?) OUT OF THE HIDDEN CAMERA and show him "those minutes up on the TV screen, BUT I'd rather him not even be aware that there is a camera in our bedroom.   CAUSE...he won't apologize even seeing it in LIVING COLOR,  "IF" the LIT  globe of the world gave off enough light to view the film at that time.
....soooooooooooooooooooooooooo WHY BOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT'S SNOWING!  Tiny, minute ...flakes.    Stopped typing long enough to walk outside in these new thin short sleeved pj's and feed the birds extra than what is in the feeders.
 I'm CRAZY like that. ;0) 
   Charlie was what we named IT and called IT for the first few years... now known as Sharlee...( female feral ) was at the front door waiting to be fed.  I'm under the belief that when she hears water running from the kitchen tap , she knows someone is up and emerges from the shed which is just outside the kitchen . After I gave hubby his first cuppa,  I made her breakfast. A mix of dry food and wet food. She's WORTH IT! :0)  Someone loved this cat...had her fixed and she is beautiful. Wonder what stories she could tell...............................

The minute flakes are clinging to the pool cover, but not the cement around the pool. GOOD!
After the HORRID winter we had last year....WE DESERVE an almost snowless winter. ;0)
It's ONE EXTREME to The OTHER. My kind of driving weather!  I would have been soooooooooooooo paranoid to drive if the roads were icy.  IN FACT...I wouldn't have driven !!!
Housebound....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!   Even if I have nowhere to go....knowing that I can GO, is a great feeling. :0)

Randy and Debbie came by for $ to have for bail in case he is arrested. Why did I hand them $...?????????????   I feel bad for Debbie who will have no place to live if he goes to jail for any length of time. She is a "lost soul."  Just recently she was telling hubby and I that he is the best thing that ever happened to her in her life........???????????????? Like I said...she is a "lost soul" and doesn't seem like the brightest bulb on the tree.  Bless her !  I should hear from one of them by noon. He was taking her to her doctor appointment before he went to the police station. 
Jill was in tears when he hugged her bye. I did my crying on the inside. 
Jill says , we take a step forward in life; just to be set back 3 steps.  YEP!  That about sums it up!

Before I forget...thank you to all that have been letting me know how different meds worked for them. I will be asking my primary doctor  what she thinks I should take when I see her March 12th.  I'm sure the ones you all recommended have to have an RX and are not over the counter.   Could be wrong..., I've been wrong before. ;0) 

Researched W.W.Meetings and found one in the next town that is level with the ground and I am familiar with the area to drive it. PLUS they have Meetings every day, more than once a day and during the daylight hours. :0)

Son Randy called me around 4. He has been to the police station and whichever detective that wanted to see him...will see him at 5.  Now ...the wait begins for another call. sighhhhhhhhhhhh

Jill has left to go to a pawn shop that has one piece of her jewelry to reclaim it for the same amount that it was hocked for.  The kid that Gil let know where Jill's  jewelry was located in her room and then pawned it.. CAN NOT BE PROCECUTED unless she wants to prosecute her son too.  Ain't that some shit! Guess...it's a he said...he said.    They probably never followed through on reporting that woman to DSS either. 
Things just aren't right!  That kid ( well if you can call a 20 year old a kid )  is the one that signed the pawn papers and received the money in his hand.
Her call...... ,.maybe she feels she deserves this...now.   
   Tomorrow they cater a wedding together.  Somehow she finds the energy to do that. Today was another stay in bed day and she showered and dressed after three.  And....somehow she finds the energy to go off for a few hours to eat with the W.B. at night when he isn't working at the fire station.
Do I sound annoyed????????????  You be right!  With both of them gone tomorrow, maybe I'll feel like doing something. 

I'm officially booked on the cruise.  I'll be just around the corner from my son and his family and have my own room.  Jewel Of The Seas ....Royal Carribean lines.
  Now my son is working the flight out. Monday the 19th to Tuesday the 3rd of April.
Now that it is becoming a reality...I am getting nervous and apprehensive.  I'll get over it! 

What is a day....without Tracie!!!!!!!!!!!   Tonight she came in with a sub in her hand. Had dropped off her RX to be filled and asked if she could sit and eat her sub.   Sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
After she finished eating and seemed to be wanting to HANG OUT.  I began to ask when they told her to come back for her RX...to hear, they didn't.  So I'm like...people usually do some shopping and they have it ready ...hint...hint...hint. She took it and left! :0)  I was eating a Smart One meal at the kitchen table when she came.  As soon as hubby heard her voice, I heard him say....Ohhhhhhhhhhh Shit!  Okay...I'll be honest here....it was.MY SENTIMENTS TOO.  I shit you not!

Hubby questioned me today as to why I was only giving him one pain pill instead of two.  HUH!  Reminded him that it was he that told me to.  He denied it.  We went round and round a few bouts and maybe his memory was jolted...maybe not!  Like...he wants to wean himself off them so when and if he ever is hospitalized he won't be suffering so much when the attending doctor takes him off ALL HIS MEDS and RX's ONLY what he/she wants to. 


Oh....and son Randy. He saw and spoke to the detective. So far.....he's free depending on  if the post office wants to press charges.  Like I said to him......there is no doubt in my mind that there will be a NEXT TIME whether he gets prosecuted or not. .  While he may have disagreed with me....I know him better than he does.   He too,  isn't a "bright bulb."  The LAW doesn't care , nor should it!
You know that old saying....the best part of you ran down your f-----'s leg.  That's exactly what my mind set is.  Sorry if there's....too much info. A heart of gold for those he loves, but nothing UPSTAIRS. I shit you not!

(((hugs)))Pat

That's All Folks!

D D I've got my HOPES UP

My son in FL called me yesterday to let me know that he did connect with our W.C. attorney and gave me his take on what he thinks our attorney is hoping to achieve for us. My son tells me that yesterdays court date between our attorney and W.C.'s attorney went well and he expects to be  in court before a judge in two months regarding A SETTLEMENT.  We have been offered settlements almost from DAY ONE and always turned their offer down. What they offered was RIDICULOUS and hubby would ask me if I was SURE that I would  rather take the chance that he would LIVE over...he would die and I would be left with NOTHING. Guess I'm a GAMBLER! His W.C. accident was in 1984. AS WAS the resulting permanent injury caused by a doctor/ IMPOSTER,  W.C. sent him to. 
Not getting a weekly W.C. check will seem FOREIGN, if that transpires in a few months.
Sons TAKE is that he is telling the W.C. people hubby will live another eleven years and settle for half of those years.KNOW WHAT??? It's been a gamble...there have been many times over those years that I thought he's be" pushing up daisies", but he beat ALL ODDS. In some ways...I truly belive he will live ELEVEN YEARS longer. I shit you not !  A bird in the hand orrrrrrrrrrr...THAT IS THE QUESTION!
That's not what HAS MY HOPES UP. I really could care less if the W.C. people want to offer a settlement that we might think twice about turning down.
  In our conversation I mentioned to him that his sister thought I should go on a cruise. He tells me that he, Deb and their two grown kids in their twenties are going on a 4 day cruise to Carzamel March 22nd.  They have been there before, but they make it a habit to treat themselves to a cruise every so often and no matter where they go...it's ENJOYMENT!  Remember how i wrote back in march last year that they had a cruise planned to take us on while we were visitng and then hubby ended up in the hospital...or was it a rehab after a hospital stay.  Either one...that was the end of going on a cruise.
 :0( sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 
After we got off the phone I mentioned to hubby that they were going on a cruise and he said....................why don't you see if they can get you on this cruise. I gave him the same arguments I always give...what if something happens to you while I'm gone, what if, what if. Not hearing anything NEGATIVE and at his urging I called my son back. He is going to try to make those arrangements and also the flight there into Tampa and home again. Two weeks I am telling him. March 15th til ...;0) Looking at a calendar....oh what the Hell ....two weeks and some extra days. :0)
So nothing is in "FINE INK" .... I'm hoping...and YES, I will feel guilty if I go. BUT, I will get OVER IT once I'm on the plane. ;0) I'm NICE LIKE THAT!

I've noticed( 00 ) this morning that the Cadbury eggs have disappeared . Probably grand daughter Theresa, She's a Skinny Minnie ( ex gymnist.) So was I ONCE!  NO....not an ex gymnist...a Skinny Minnie and was taunted in grade school with the words ,Olive Oil, String Bean, Spider Legs and those other HORRID conatations that go with being THIN. Those were " The Dayssssssssssssssssssss "and I didn't even know it. ;0)
While I didn't succumb to eating ONE Cadbury Egg, I did succumb to a cup of mac,tomatoes and cheese................To Die For. I shit you not!
   
I am ADDICTED NOW to W.W. yogurt... ALL FLAVORS... except plain Vanilla.
In FACT...I just put a plastic spoon in my purse in case I'm ever at the grocery store and need A QUICK FIX. ;0)  I fail to believe that something THIS GOOD is only 2 POINTS.

In ONE BREATH, I tell you I think hubby is going to live longer than what Work Comp probably thinks he will and now I'll mention that he has been complaining of pain in his head. He explains it as like his entire brain is short circuiting with electical charges is the sensations he is getting. THIS IS NEW!

Only hubby and myself are awake at the hour. 10:30 a.m. Jill went back to bed and Gil and Logan have never risen from their nights sleep. I suspect video games kept both or one ....awake. School vacation week for Logan. Jill has no e n e r g y and I suspect she has mono or........  depression even....maybe.
She's been talking about moving her bed, etc into the livingroom with her son Gils help, so that work can begin on her bedroom. Fresh paint, wood flooring installed.   Then and ONLY THEN would the livingroom wood floor be installed and furniture hunting begun.  Looks like the livingroom furniture is going to stay NEW that much longer....since we have NONE! The only "company" I have/get is my kids and grands and they know what to expect when they walk in the front door. ;0)  If   the ONES that LIVE HERE with me don't GIVE A SHIT....Why should I! 
That's MY NEW WAY OF THINKING!  Hubby's family ( the ones still left ) are up in age too and don't make the thirty mile plus trek here , nor have we gone their way in ages.He/We keep in touch by phone.  Highway driving...bah, humbug! We did see his baby brother in FL last year and MINE, cause they made the TREK from Jacksonville and Leesburg to see us in Sarasota. . :0)  Which reminds me....as soon as I know if I am going to go to FL, I need to let my baby brother Larry and his wife Judy know. My son will drive me the 100 or more miles up state to visit hubby's brother and my brother is maybe another fifty or better miles. Yikes...lots to ask!  

While I was out last night getting hubby a Steak Bomb sub, Tracie came. Michelle was here ( as been her weekly night to watch American Idol with her dad and I had no plans to go out......as I have been doing in the past.  Seeing Tracie here...that changed.  Instead of nuking myself a Smart One meal, I said, "Have you eaten yet? When I heard no, I asked "Want to go out to eat?'  Off we went to Good Tymes where I had the Perfect Portion broiled haddock, rice florentine and carrots. The rice....is delishous, but not so good in POINTS, but what The Hell! 
 
KNOW WHAT???????????????????? It's the friggin cruise food that is going to " sink my ship." I shit you not! Will Power....sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Has anyone gone on a four day cruise and had to walk off the ship with a sheet around them because they can't get into the clothing they boarded ship with?????????????? ;0)

Back to Tracie.....she just stopped in last night to , say hi.  hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm  :0(
Told her the night before that I did not want to go out Wednesday, maybe Saturday.  Time will tell...................

The visiting nurse told us yesterday that hubby's Home Health Aide won't  be funded by Medicare any longer.  It was THEN that I told him the other five days during the week...hubby has been taking a shower by himself. Dangerous....or NOT!  He wants his independence.  I will miss not being able to say goodbye to Kathy tomorrow as Tuesdays and Fridays were her days to come here. I don't want to CRY anyway. :0(  Will look at it as one less intrusion as the nurse said.  IF the day hubby ever needs them again comes....they will return.:0)


Jill is cooking supper and what ever she has in the oven has spilled over and the efffin fire alarm keeps BLARING! Doors and windows open and it's getting mighty uncomfortably cold in here and still it blares on.  Think she said it's the mushroom, onion side dish she made to use those leftovers after she made stuffing.
Tracie came at 4:30. :0( She is OUT of minutes on her tax payer paid for cell phone.  Needed to call her kidney doctor for a refill of her pain med.  Then the w a i t for her doctor to call her after seeing her patients.......... began....and THE WITCH never called back. It's exactly 7 p.m. I'd like to give her a piece of my mind.  Not only is it NOT RIGHT, but IT'S WRONG!  Of course Tracie sees the meal Jill is preparing and.................   knows we will feed her. Baked chicken, stuffing, her fave carrots w/brown sugar and butter and mashed potatoes and gravy.  Hope Jill remembered to put some plain carrots aside for me before she added the butter and brown sugar. Hubby is refusing to sit at the table with her..... wants to eat in bed. ASSHOLE! Go ahead and be an ASSHOLE! 
Again last night someone used shaving cream or something like it to write on her car. IN MY DRIVEWAY YET! When she left here she saw a tall male with a hooded sweatshirt ( hood pulled up ) standing next to my maple tree at the end of the driveway where you couldn't see him.  Then he made a coughing sound and pretended like he had just stopped and proceeded to go on.  Not until she was home did she see the writing. She found what was written... FUNNY .          BAG LADY.....      Well, I don't find it funny that someone came in my yard to do that! 

Okay...supper is over.  Told her I was watching American Idol at 8 and a few minutes after eight, she left.  She needs to watch how many of her minutes she uses on her cell and not talk at length to her niece and ex SIL. She won't get any NEW MINUTES until March 1st.   More than likely ( as in the past ) her doctor called her cell and of course....wasn't able to reach her.  Tracie gave the receptionist MY NUMBER TO CALL and this has happened before. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  

Soooooooooooo I ate supper with the rest of the family anddddddddddddddddddddd I ate her stuffing! Delishous stuffing that Jill puts all kinds of extra goodies in, extra butter, sweetened dried cranberries , yadda,yadda,yadda.   Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. 
Tomorrow is another day. :0) No crying over spilt milk!
I don't know about those extra 48 Points a week cause they never seemed to be of a HELP to me. 
You ate those extra 48 Points.... YOU OWNED THEM.    PERIOD! I shit you not!!!!!!

EFFFIN fire alarms are going off again.  WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(((hugs)))Pat


That's All Folks!

D D It's THAT TIME OF THE WEEK again....

....as Jackiesue so tells it...Hump Day!

Hubby slept late.....It's 9 a.m. and he just rose to pee and sat and sat and sat.  It doesn't come easy most of the time. I'll have to train him how to drink his coffee on the throne...instead of leaving it sitting on his nightstand getting COLD. 
Ten minutes prior to his waking, Cash was HOWLING to BEAT THE BAND. Jill drove off somewhere....probably to get cigarettes.  This BEAGLE has such an anxiety seperation over her and he goes Bananas when she leaves and when she returns....He is the same way over the W.B. who gets down to his level and talks to him like he's a baby with sympathy noises. Hey...the dog loves him. can't be all bad. ;0)   The whines and cries are....pitiful and LOUD! I shit you not! How hubby slept through it....beats moi.
   Daughter Cheryl called the moment he woke. Good timing....  Hubby took the phone call from the visiting nurse yesterday to tell us to expect them today...between such and such hour. Hubby relays the message to me as early morning or ....................or what?  Last night before we turned in,  his head was bothering him and he thought he was having a brain bleed.  Took his B/P. While a little high, it was not alarming.  When I inquired this morning his pain was gone.   WHICH MEANS it wasn't a brain bleed. That pressure on ones brain  doesn't alieve itself that fast as I have learned from his brain bleeds of past years.  Most of the daytime he doesn't support his head and neck with a pillow correctly. The strain on his neck.....ouchie.  When I tell him he needs to put the pillow up higher, move it over, whatever...he yells " leave me alone, I'm fine."   You got it buddy.  SUFFER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The arthritis in my knees ...woke me several times during the night. Pain, PAIN!!!!! Had spasms in my legs too. Two of my fingers are twisting out of shape on my left hand First it was my ring finger ( without me noticing it happening.)  The next finger to it is twisting and aching LOUD AND CLEAR!  My right middle finger is making some weird sensations. If i try to turn a med cap off....the jolt of pain and numbness makes me apprehensive to turn that cap cause I know what TO EXPECT and I NO LIKE IT! :0(  Welcome to turning 75 . UGH!  I know, I know...BEATS THE ALTERNATIVE!

It's tempting to...wrap two popsicle stciks around those fingers on my left hand to try to keep them from twisting out of shape further. ;0)

Fingers on the right hand ....the one next to my thumb is out of shape ( no pain was associated with that one. It's the middle one that I feel the nerves in when I touch something or put pressure on it. 

LIKE REALLY....  that's the least of my problems. RIGHT! ;0) 

Check out this casual nightwear that captured my eyes. Only pair like it on the rack at Burlington Coat Factory ....My size too.  THEY FOUND THEMSELVES IN MY SHOPPING CART. ;0)

THE NEW ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daughter Jill told me last night after my W.W.Meeting  that she thought I was the type that would have a lot of FUN on a cruise.  Why not go on one mom, she said. I think I'M AT where I can hold the house down . Go...have FUN!

While I would dearly love to HAVE FUN...I'm not where I can just GO DO THAT ....I can't leave my concience behind me and HAVE FUN!  The thought is tantalizing .....though.

BEFORE I FORGET, Word Verification is A ROYAL PAIN IN THE ARSE..... please, please, please... go to  Settings, Then Comments, Then scroll down to word verification . Click OFF.

This new two word thing Blogger has is MOST IRRATATING and I so would like to leave a Comment without DREADING the FAILURE of decipering these words NUMEROUS TIMES. :0(

Visiting nurse has come and gone. Hubby kept insisting he had a brain bleed.   The V.N. was in agreement with me, YET hubby secibes the feeling as short electrical charges in his head. Makes you wonder. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  

 Our NEW WORK COMP attorney called  yesterday. He has a court date ( concilliation ) meeting with the W.C. Attorney.  He is trying to get hubby a nice settlement and let them know he/WE are wise to that settlement offer they called with BACK IN   January 2011 with.  THEY KNEW BACK THEN that they owed us boodles and would have given us SOME OF OUR OWN MONIES OWED US and we never would have been the wiser if we accepted their offer.  AssHoles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  SNEAKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

G2G ...Shower and get ready to go to the chiropractors.  Hubby says he doesn't feel up to it....which is better for me. My adjustment just might last a little longer without having to maneuver him around in his transport chair. BBL

Been doing some of this...and some of that.  Will talk about it tomorrow. 

(((hugs)))Pat

That's All Folks!

D D I've been elected

to go to my daughter Cheryl's and give her a lift to my neck of the woods where her appointment for 9 a.m. which  is. ....I'm guesstimating she lives around ten miles away from me.
 SELDOM..IF EVER do you find me out that time of the morning. 7:14 a.m. I'm showered, dressed and have my makeup on.  Never know who you might meet. ;0)   Seriously though....I'll feel better about myself and THAT'S WHAT COUNTS! 
The rest of the house is still snoozing.....that's the way I like it, uh huh, uh huh.
Home Health Aide Kathy won't know what to make of me being dressed and out when she comes at 9.am. . ;0) 

Come to find out.....the church where the Weight Watcher Meetings are held is also...the same place grandson Gil goes for his meetings. Different night of course. ;0)
Also :0( found out when i logged into W.W. Online that 3 of my POINTS are amongst the missing.  It's 26 POINTS now. How LOW can WE GO?????????????  Something tells moi that there will be more POINTS taken away before I attain my goal weight.  Oh wellllllllll, it is what it is. I shit you not!

Looks like I may have to wake hubby. Have to be out the door in a half hour and I have no idea what traffic is like in the mornings now adays.  I have never liked to be LATE FOR ANYTHING.
It's just the way...I AM! ;0)

Bought two small packages of Cadbury Eggs yesterday. My fave little things to pop in my mouth this time of year. Jill opened them. She's had a few and they sit in a candy dish on the counter.  EYE CANDY for moi ;0)  Can't blow it now!   I like to torture myself this way. I shit you not!

My wa wa Ginger had the squirts yesterday. She's the one standing by me in the picture...Where ever I am..SHE LIKES TO BE!  OLD  FAITHFUL. ;0)  Wiped her ass on my pillow case......... ahhhhhhhhh Bless her little Pea Picken Heart.  Yeah...that's not what I yelled when I caught her doing it. ;0)

Woke hubby...made my Quaker weight control oatmeal and as soon as I get the word from him that he is ready for coffee....I will make his first cup and  make my get away. Already out of him I hear...I thought they had a car. Here goes having to explain that it's chugging and coughing . Needs a tune up.
They get stopped...no license and insurance. OKAY...no stress this morning...please. BBL

It was a nightmare...I shit you not!  Oh...the traffic wasn't bad , not the drive, nor daughters Therapy Appointment. A long wait, but I didn't know how long her P.T. was for, nor did she. Just was given a time.  She was also told on the phone when she called her primary care doctors office that an RX for pain med would be ready for her to pick up after she went to P.T.  Up one flight is her docotrs office,,,she signs in and we wait anddddddddddddddd wait.  Next thing she hears is that her primary can't see her now...he has patients....andddddddddddddd she can't get an RX for a pain med without him seeing her.   I thought she would lose her mind right then and there. In pain and you are told that bull shit.  Three woman that work there came to her side as she started to cry and howl in pain. Another one came up and said that the doctor she works for would see her.   They take her in back to a room.  It was while all this was going on that an elderly woman with a cane came in the office waiting area and headed to the front desk to sign in and began to faint. It's almost like...that staff that surrounded my daughter were there for a reason. They grabbed her before she fell into me or worse yet, hit the floor.   Time goes by...tick, tick. daughter Cheryl comes out even more agitated than when she went in. THEY LIED she was hollering.  This doctor couldn't write her an RX. Staff hated the scene she was making and I put my two cents in too.  After a five hour surgery...one would expect that she have serious pain seven days later.  Her surgeon is at FAULT HERE.  Goes on vacation and forgets that Monday was a holiday and didn't RX her enough pain med.  Then you are told to see your primary ( while the pain is steadily increasing with no pain med and you hear he can't see you. WTF! 
Ladies and gents...never have surgery near a holiday and ASK YOUR SURGEON if he has any vacations planned at that time. ...... I shit you not! 
Soooooooooooo she has no pain med and she can't drive with her right arm the way it is and her van is coughing and sputtering almost if not worst than she was when we left that office.  Myself...I'd be calling the medical board.   THIS should not be allowed to happen. It doesn't help that she feels like she being treated less than an honorable member of society for being on Welfare.  True or not....it's what she internally feels.    When I left her at her door, she was not even going to go for further P.T.  Will suffer on her own with no help from them and will exercise her right arm without their help too.  sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
  When I walked into the doctosr office that I will be getting my cortisone injection.....looked at the waiting room and felt like I was in a herd of cattle.  NOT a good feeling.  I'm on time...early even and there is a BIG WAIT ahead of me. NEXTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT ! 
You are not a "face" anymore...you are just a NUMBER!  Only to get worst...right????
When I left my daughter, she was saying don't worry about me. Yeah righhhhhhT !!!

Gave hubby a peck on the lips when I left. No sooner am I past our bedroom door when I hear him say, " see you next week."  Loud enough for him to here, I replied " maybe even longer."
Whenever I use to go to bingo...moons ago now it seems, he would say " leaving me again." Mind you...this was a once a week thing. NOT NIGHTLY!  When i asked why he had to ruin my mood he's say, " I was only joking." The joking never ended !!!  Didn't stop me from going. What did end my friendship with bingo was the hours of sitting in an uncomfy chair. STIFF...oh my word! 
Even the BIG CARRY OVER JACKPOTS failed to lure me back. Won 12K once...  It came up missing from my bank account.  SO I KNOW what emotions my daughter Jill is experiencing. We don't stop loving our kids....as she hasn't her son Gil and neither did I stop loving her.  Drugs,Gambling....both are addictions.  Same with drinking.  PURE HEARTACHE  and HEARTBREAK!  I shit you not!
Asked Logan where is DSS is today. It's amongst the missing. Don't know if she included it on  the police report. One thing for sure...if ONE MORE THING gets legs....Gil has to go.  We have heard nothing about his day before the judge in a courtroom from the EX SIL from Hell. Well...maybe by this hour of 2:45 he has texted or called her. I'm still in the dark. Sooooo say it's dismissed. There is no half way house, the service won't take him if he is on Sabozone or Zoloff.....where the Hell does that leave us OR HIM?  Hanging around the house all day isn't healthy....nor does it do anything for your self esteem.

Daughter Cheryl's hubby Dana called me around 4p.m.   He did battle on the phone and HE was going to go pick up her pain med. Told me not to worry...she will be fine. :0)

Attended my W.W.Meeting.  Thankfully I remembered that one should get to a meeting at least a half hour before.  175.5   Lot of people there... all women and one MAN with his wife. 
Can I hear an awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. ;0)
    The aroma wafting into my bedroom is hea ven ly.  Jill has made mac,tomatoes and cheese.  I can eat my weight in that. I shit you not!  Dear Lord, lead me not into temptation.............. Christine's weight challenge weigh in is TOMORROW. Can one bite hurt??????Can I just eat ONE BITE?????????????????????????????????   :0( I think I know the answer to my questions. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh 
Oh..almost forgot. The Point system was changed since I began last February fro 29 to 26, BUT the leader said if I have been doing GOOD with 29 Points...I can stay on 29 Points. Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Tracie came here around 7:30. sighhhhhhhhh Left at 9 when I told her that I was retiring to my bedroom.  Asked about tomorrow night nope staying in. Thursday...same thing. Told her Friday would be good and we can eat somewhere.  Let's see if she stays away til Friday.
I've been yawning since 5p.m. Going to slip into something more comfortable andddddddddddddddddd climb in bed.
Stay safe,,,c u 2morrow. (((hugs)))Pat

That's All Folks!

D D What do you do at 4 a,m ??

BUT...of course, chase a squirrel all over the house. ;0) For awhile...Bugsy was content to jump from his cage to me and run around my body. THENnnnnnnnnnn he got adventurous .....all over my room he scurried, then out into the bathroom with me hot on his little heels and then straight down the kitchen to Jill's bedroom door ( where the BIG DOG ) sleeps;0). Caught him as he was jumping up at her bedroom door.  That was ENOUGH FREEDOM for him.  :0)  Was worried that he's jump up on out bed and scare the Holy Shit out of hubby who was sleeping soundly. THAT...would have been" a scene".  I shit you not!
  Pain in my left hip/buttock area made it impossible to fall back to sleep after I went to use the bathroom at that time of the morning. THAT and the fact that , we turned in earlier than usual. 

I'm at the crossroad where I've decided that I need adult conversation ! Hoping that we still have a W.W.Meeting here in our town and it didn't leave town due to ' the lack of interest." You know...people like myself that think they can do things on their own ( which I have ), but damn I do remember the meetings I attended while I was in FL this time last year and miss ALL that those meetings ENCOMPASS!  Soooooooooooooooooooo the ball is in my park.............................
Would it be wrong of me to mention....a member of the opposite sex or any sex might have an interesting vocabulary without the word 'fuck" in it. .......yeah...I know, I'm a married woman. 
BUT I did go to a Fortune Teller while in my late thirties and she said she saw another marriage for me.   I'll be 75 in March......time is running out.;0) Third  time...is not always a "charm'. Sorry to let you down like that. It is what it is! Yeah.....I like to talk BIG too. 

Meanwhile back at the fun farm....daughter Cheryl needs a ride to her doctors tomorrow at 9 a.m. Their van is misfiring ...( running shitty.) Her surgeon did not take into account that today is a holiday in MA and did not give her enough pain meds.  Here In MA you have to "hand carry " an RX for narcotics to a pharmacy and her doctor isn't in his office to write one. She was tying to hold out on taking the last of her meds and pain patch last I talked to her hubby around one p.m.  She was in agony then. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  

.Always something going on here.  Seems a though the EX SIL from HELL was bullshitting about a halfway house too.  There is a PRICE connected to staying at a halfway house and his wife's insurance won't pay it.  Further more...when he was discharged from the rehab place the other day...he was only given an RX for Zoloff.  He has been in agony. His teeth hurt like Hell. What's up with that??? Taking Tylenol after Tylenol.   They did not give him an RX for the Saboxone he was on there for a few days. THIS IS ASSINE! 

Grandson Ryan and his wife Sarah just dropped off Gavin for Jill to babysit while they went to a movie. A FIRST! 
 I just got the BIGGEST SMILE out of him.  Great nana knows the tricks . I shit you not!

Okay...going to run to the grocery store for a few items. yeah like I'll really come out with just what's on my list. NOT!  Then ....to run /walk a few doors over with my dish return.  :0(  I'll find the right ones....no doubt about it!
I'm not inspired to cook anything ....hoping hubby will settle for Kraft Mac n Cheese.... It's been a week since he last had it...Mikey, LIKES IT! ;0)
BBL

It's been a productful day.....no not in cleaning house or laundry.  Joined Weight Watchers over the phone. My closest meeting is tomorrow at 6.p.m.  A few miles away. I can make it...I can make it..I can make it. :0)  As long assssssssssssssss it doesn't rain or snow.  I might even see some people I've met through the years living in this town and working for a chirpopractor for 15 years. Then there were all the wedding cakes I made and wedding receptions I attended to cut, wrap the cake and take all my parts...home.  I was quite "The GADABOUT". I shit you not! Was known as " the Cake Lady."
 Hubby has always called me "ma" cause he says that's all I answer to with the nine kids calling me ma. HE BE..........RIGHT!
Ohhhhh.... where the Hell am I going with all this.   ???????????????????????????

My dish set is back on the shelf at Tuesday Morning.  Will be searching for a Gibson...Red Roma dinnerware set. Saw it online at KMart, BUT do they have 2 sets on their store shelves?  On the way back from my meeting ,I will be going right by there. Will take a looksee!
Best of allllllllllllllllllllll...Tracie showed up around 7 and it took me til 8:10 to let her make her realize that I wanted to watch The Batchelor.....without her.  Just hubby and me in my bedroom. 
She left and there seemed no hard feelings on her end.  It is, what it is..!  If I use my voice, I can make myself and my wants KNOWN.  I find this DO ABLE!  FINALLY!
(((hugs)))Pat

That's All Folks!

D D This Old Gray Mare

is kicking her heels up. LITERALLY, not figuratively! ;0) 
One thing for sure...I'm going out KICKING! 

Sometimes I have a devilish imp sitting on my right shoulder.  For TRUE! ;0)

No Tracie again last night. I'll make mention of it now, but am not going to loose sleep over it.  I shit you not! Can't remember if I left it as " I'll call you" orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........................?????
So...if I have hurt her feelings by gently letting her know that I do not want her company EVERY NIGHT....SO BE IT!

I knitted on a great grand daughters sweater yesterday  :0)  Hadn't worked on it in over a month. :0(
Only problem is.....................NOW they are living in Vegas. Moved from RI to Vegas.  Does it get cold enough there to wear a hooded sweater knit with two strands of a 4 ply yarn???????  If so...just how much use will these two great grand daughter get out of these particular kind of sweaters?
Always a "fly in the ointment."

Grandson Gil went to a Meeting last night. AA, GA, ?....   ?????   Jill let him use her car. He was back at the time he should have been. :0)

Just heard on the news that Elizabeth Smart got married yesterday. She's 24 now.   Wish her a long and HAPPY LIFE.
Read that Monica Lewinsky has her own business in England, I believe.  Designs purses. . The Real Monica,Inc. 
Reportedly...still single.   Most likely...by choice.  Either way... wish her well.   We all make mistakes in life....few of us have had to pay "The Piper"  PUBLICALLY for theirs. 

Dilema!   Where do I put my new dishes. I keep opening the dish cupboard and mentally change the height of each shelf....thinking maybe it will work out to keep both sets in there. We shall see.

For the first time EVER, I bought a carton of egg whites . Made myself a Canadian bacon and veggie omelet for breakfast yesterday.  Very good!  To be truthful, I never knew that you could buy egg whites in a carton and throwing a yolk away has always turned me off.  You ask me....do I live in a cave? Sometimes... I think so. ;0) That or don't get out much anymore. :0)

O'Kayyyyyyyyyyy... it's back to the "drawing board."
The more that I look at these dishes...they are NOT RED! sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh//  More a reddish brown, BUT Gibson dinnerware DOES MAKE this same type set in a Roma Red.  Sold at KMart.
FIRST I find this other set and then it's back to Tuesday Morning ...with a Return I go.  
Geeeeeeesh...there is no pleasing moi sometimes. ;0)

Question....does a word verification show up on my blog when you try to Comment?  I have it checked in comments that I don't want a word verification . This two word thing I am seeing in order to comment on some posts is giving me ANXIETY.I shit you not!  One... I have no trouble spelling, the other my old eyes can't concept what I am seeing  and it's a "crap shoot" of trial and error before I can leave my comment.  :0(

It's one p.m. ......showered....dressed and...put on makeup.  No one but myself may notice it.....who cares! ;0) 

Threaded hubby a needle. He is moving the snaps on his towel wrap over. He's lost weight too.
I appreciate that he learned to sew on buttons and snaps,  either from his mother, the AirForce or because he "just plain had to." I won't look a "Gift Horse " in the mouth!

He made a few boo boo's.   Had to tear out what he was doing a few times and I had to thread more needles. KEPT HIM BUSY with his bad eyesight.  I shit you not!

The W.B. has his daughter Alex with him today and SHE WANTED CURLS.  He went and bought a curling iron and while at first I hesitated to do it ( it's been years )...I curled her hair and HAD FUN. She's hoping her head is still full of curls when she wakes up for school. ME TOO!  Her hair is THICK!  Gorgeous red, thick hair. :0) My girls NEVER had thick hair.... me neither. :0(

Jill and I began to sing...The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow. :0) 

I will pick up some of those sponge curlers that she can sleep in and her dad will only have to remove them in the morning  and let the curls drop...where they may.

Calling it a night. Curling little girls hair wears a Nana out.  ;0)

(((hugs)))Pat

That's All Folks!