D D There is no place to begin, cause there is NO END!

Tracie had a colonostopy done yesterday. I never showered and just lounged /vegged out and in general wasted most of the day, but that's okay by me. :0) Need more of them! I shit you not!
The day before she had to prep for that test and drink the CRAP and CRAP her brains out.;0) She stopped in for a short while to call Capital One about her card that she misplaced or lost. FINALLY!. I say finally cause she couldn't find it close to a week ago and apparently she just now found a bill with the number to call.  That was her excuse as to why she didn't call and report it...to moi when I kept asking if she had reported it. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  If it's in her car....she will NEVER FIND IT! THAT BAD....I shit you not!
   Me, myself and I drove hubby to the VA in W.Roxbury. That place I don't mind driving to, except for merging onto the four lane highway. I get very tense. I shit you not! Jill was mentally SPENT between the W.B. and her son Gil. I could see she too needed a break.
Test showed it's not his prostrate causing his problem, so there will be no TURP surgery.  His problem is the mess his brain is in from those multiple bleeds years ago and the Aracnoid systs ( 2 xs ) in his spinal cord which have left him INCONTINENT. Something about 2 spincter muscles not opening and closing at the right times , yadda,yadda,yadda. Cath him 2 to 3 times a day. YEAH RIGHT! The docotr who performed the test will send his recommendations to his primary doctor. Something about a med that may slow? down. Frequency/Urge ????????????????????????  Down the road maybe a permanent cath put in place. I'm all for that. I shit you not!  Having no control over when he pisses keeps us from even going out to visit his family thirty odd miles away. He did agree to stop at the OutBack to eat after we left the hospital. IT was closed. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :0) It was 3p.m. and it opens at four Mon. thru Thursday. Next closest place was Good Thymes and off we went. Me lugging his wheelchair in and out of the car trunk didn't help those injections I got in my spine Tuesday. All he did was BITCH ABOUT THE  FOOD. Couldn't chew the chicken in the Chicken Pot Pie that I highly recommended. Tracie has no teeth and she fuckin manages. First it was....there's hardly no chicken in this which I thought was strange as I had it many times and it's loaded.  When I saw all the chicken, I did have to say...thought there was no chicken in that pie. "I found it", was his reply. When I said a few times how I and other people like the elderly woman across from us was having no trouble eating her Chicken Pot Pie, he said, "you fuckin eat if if it's so good."  "Butter me some more bread so I'll at least have someting in my stomach."  I fixed him TWO. $30 bucks with the tip for a miserable time....NO THX. Never again! I shit you not! 
Last night I made macaroni salad and cooked him 2 burgers on the George Foreman grille. BIG MISTAKE! The burger was too dry according to him.  Same burger I have always bought. 85%.
I had no trouble with my one burger. Would have liked two. :0) Was trying to be GOOD. Most times that isn't working so well with me lately. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
   WHICH REMINDS ME...I need to get off my arse and shower and ready myself for a Weight Watcher Meeting at noon. Weigh In is at 11:30 a.m. It's been well over a month since I've been to a meeting. Maybe THAT'S WHAT I NEED to get me MOTIVATED!
From there....maybe a stop to get a pedicure . Last one was before I went to my last W.W.Meeting so I'M DUE!  So little time to get things accomplished. I say accomplished cause THEY ARE NEVER DONE!  I shit you not!

The W.B. and his boss ( construction) have worked two days now on my front porch/steps. Today it's suppose to be done. Got kind of worried there for awhile. He stormed out two evenings ago...which would have been Wednesday evening. Was swearing his head off as he left. never coming back, tired of your fuckin shit Jill, yadda,yadda,yadda.  They had left here for the Meat Raffle and she tried to talk to him about her worries with her son Gil and how she was hurting inside and he'd heafr tewo words then spot someone and off he'd go to chat with them. Repeatedly. WHICH didn't set well with her. She only had one drink. Was in a foul mood as it was with her bad day and worries and then he bought 2 three pound lobsters off of someone that won them and she was fit to be tied. SHE DID NOT FEEL UP TO COOKING THEM!!!!!  Let alone that he still hasn't paid this months rent. Reminded her AGAIN to put the word out to him that he IS NOT MOVING IN HERE. I like to have his memory...REFRESHED...so to speak!  Sooooo she wanted to come home which HE DID NOT, but HE DID come lugging in his lobsters WHICH she refused to cook. He had been drinking earlier and had 3 to her one at the Moose and she just wanted to hit her bed.  WHICH she should be able to do.  It didn't set well with him. He's saying LOUDLY I worked my fuckin ass off all day. ( The steps he is replacing for me are SOLID CEMENT. so we found out ;0)  ) and he Jack Hammered at them for HOURS.  Wellll that got no sympathy for him from her. I shit you not!He stormed out packing his lobsters under his arm.   NOT TO FEAR...he came back last night with his own lobster pot and cooked them HIMSELF! 
Oh and that other purchase........he has been watching an ad in Craigs List about a motor home...engine is BLOWN...$2K ... He has finally talked the woman owner down to $500....part of his rent money. Has no place to put it. His landlord sure as hell won't appreciate it . Especially where he never pays his rent on time.  THEN the woman called him back and said she was behind in all her bills and wanted a grand for it. They finally settled on his offer of $600. He's like a kid with all his plans on camping with Jill and the kids.  Not being realistic about anything and she wants no part of his plans.  I haven't heard if money has been exchanged....but I say.....SUCKER! It's been on Craigs List for MONTHS for A REASON. I shit you not!
He doesn't even have the money to put tires and insurance on his truck and he buys THIS!  IDJUT!

LOOK! I go to a W.W.Meeting, stop and get a pedicure and pull across the street to get some much needed items, like bread and milk. Called home to ask Jill what else we needed and that was MY FIRST MISTAKE. While we are talking apparently Randy drove into the driveway and unloaded a hexagon picnic table.  Jill does not care for THEM...even if they are FREE and said something outloud that hubby caught. Next I hear him roaring..."We fucking don't want it. Get it out of here!  Oh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy word. sighhhhh
LIKE he never sits at a picnic bench so why the fuck does he care???????  SUCH INSANITY!!!!
Then my next mistake was coming home with the groceries.  Randy had just left after tearing inot Butch and his boss Steve about the price they charged me for the front steps.  Jill had asked me on the phone where my contract with Butch and Steve was and I told her. Her gripe was it was written in the contract that ALL of the cement was suppose to be Jack Hammered and taken away, BUT when she heard me say..."I don't give a shit as long as I can't see the cement under the new porch when the porch is done", she changed her tune to you don't care, then I don't care. THEN she left the contract on the kitchen table and when Randy came he picked it up and read it. Tore into Butch and Steve, threatened them with all kinds of mayhem cause they were fucking me over, yadda,yadda,yadda.

I don't know who died and left Randy BOSS, but I'm fucking getting sick of him and his shit. I shit you not! 
Yesterday it was....I was charged too much for the gutter job. NOW it was HE that was going to have them give him an estimate for the materials and he was going to do the labor. THEN before they came Wednesday morning he called Jill and told her he was sick, couldn't make it here before they came, gave her all kinds of instructions on things to ask them and Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh tell them to include the labor in the price because mom never is happy with the job I do and my back is still hurting.  THEN he has the audacity on the phone yesterday to ask me how much the job was going to be and went bananas when I told him the price.   I'M going to call them and see how much of that price is the labor cost and I WILL DO IT!  Later he calls me back and tells me that I should call them and ask them to take something off as the price is steep. They had told him that I seemed happy with the price. ( I WAS OKAY WITH IT! ) What the F do I know about the cost of gutter materials and neither does Randy. IT's LIKE ...how about letting me make my own business deals and make my own fuckin mistakes. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
andddddddddddddddd THEN....some poor slob called saying he was calling from the Bank of America and wanted me to take a short survey.
I SCREAMED BLOODY BLUE MURDER AT HIM. I shit you not!  I don't want any calls unless it's to tell me that someone is using my credit card.  Friends, I bought a loud siren type whistle years ago when we slept in out trailer and motor home going across country to have on hand to scare the bejeezzus out of anyone that tried to come inside. Never had to use it thank you lord, but so help me, I am going to pull the f'n pin and set it off the next call like that I get. I shit you not!
IT's MURDER SHE WROTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAR!!!!
Trying to get my groceries put away, ( all $103 ) worth ) I'm soft...what can I say.....hubby ;picks these times to WALK. Walks to the sink which is past the fridge and cupboards. Our kitchen is narrow like a galley. GET THE PICTURE ? IT AIN'T PRETTY, I shit you not! Patience has not been my virtue for a long time now. And then he has to start about the picnic table.  He's looking to get killed. ;0) Found the pears I just bought on the counter. He took one....FINE. So I know he must be hungry, it was almost 3 p.m. and I made him a BBQ pulled pork heated and put on a hamburger roll and served him. "What the fuck is this", he inquired. "I just had a pear."  Yeah, thought you would need more than a pear since you had a bowl of cereal this morning ,I says, SO EAT IT! Don't let the damned dog get it and end up all over the clean sheets I put on the bed while you showered this morning!
The visiting nurse came while I was gone....they were suppose to come yesterday, but called and cancelled. She calls his primary to get the correct story of what went down at the urologist visit,  instead of what hubby decides is how it went down. He already has claimed to me that they told him he had a urinary tract infection. DUH, NOT SO! The doctor RX'd 5 days 2x's a day of antibiotics cause this test he did is known to cause infections and this way they ward an infection OFF.  He ( primary doctor) wants him catherized 3 xs a day at the very least.  Authorized her to do it and hubby hollered at her and claims she is the worst he has ever had at catherizing him and hurt him.
Friends......I am getting weary ....now this order............................  :0(
If I had been here I would have told the doctor it's time to have a cath put in permenantly.
AS IT IS....It may happen sooner thasn later.... I informed hubby that IT WAS I , Me, myself and I that would be doing the cathing if I was home. Doth he protest? You're damned tootin !  I told him it will be me or NOTHING and he says he will chose NOTHING. We shall see!

This day isn't over. I have left out stuff. It can wait!  IT WILL HAVE TO WAIT!  I'm LOADED FOR BEAR! 
Speaking of which...., Tracie should be coming around shortly. sighhhhhhhhhhh  I do NOT like being like this. Have the feeling that I am about to jump out of my own skin.  Yeah....that bad! 
Will post this tomorrow. You know me....I'll have plenty more to moan and groan about. WHAT...you have your own troubles !  Okay...Pity Party...my house or yours .............. ;0) 
(((hugs)))Pat

Freeze warning tonight. FREEZE THIS!
On a lighter note, the pair of mallard ducks are making themselves right to home here ....daily. Of course my tossing them bread...might have something to do with THAT. ;0)

I'm posting this around 2:30 a.m Saturday. cause I got up to pee and can't fall back to sleep. Over-active mind ...that kind of shit. Hubby isn't on my side of the bed. Can't blame it on that. ;0) sighhhhhh  Sometime around six last night he wiped his who-who with tissue and called out to me to show me he was bleeding from Nurse Kratchett's "tube job."  After being cathed he has bled before....but this "bitch' ( his words) really hurt him.
Ten p,m, came and I was SET TO cath him and he yells out, "Are you fucking crazy. Get away from me. I told you I was bleeding and I'm sore."  IT WAS MY LUCKY NIGHT. I shit you not! What's wrong with this picture? Some people get laid and call it..... their "Lucky Night."


That's All Folks!



  

D D I need a break!

My mind and body does. I shit you not! I'm plodding through the days and getting nowhere fast.
BUT...you know me....I do have plenty to write about....it's just putting my fingers to the keyboard and I can't concentrate to do that just now.  Need to sort out the beginning of where I left off.   (((hugs)))Pat

That's All Folks!

D D With family there is always something coming down the Pike.....

especially when you have 9 kids, 19 grands and 12 greats....but first ...to begin  with my day yesterday.

OOPSIE I FORGOT TO POST THIS YESTERDAY. MOI BAD! SOOOOOOOOOOO YESTERDAY WAS Wednesdsay and the yesterday I referred to above was TUESDAY.  WHICH MEANS I'LL WRITE A POST TODAY ( HOPEFULLY AND POST IT TOMORROW SO THAT YOU CAN FOLLOW THE PROGRAM. ;0)

At the top of my mind , I knew I had a TUESDAY  2:10 appointment to get the second round of injections in my lower back. The day before I found out from the pharmacist ( after my call was finally returned around 3p.m.) that I could pick up hubby's Oxycodone.  I was a week late in ordering it :0(. THIS has never happened before...then again if I was giving him the 8 a day instead of 5, I would have seen they were LOW in the container. Soooooooooooooo knowing I only had 1 1/2 hours before the V.A. closed ... I put off picking them up until yesterday. 
My son Randy chose the time I needed to be in the shower to install my new bathroom cabinet knobs.
I sat....with ants in my pants. Finally at 12:35 I got in the bathroom. Headed in the opposite direction of NH to go to the V.A. and get hubby's meds. Once in the front door the receptionist greeted me with a smile and both hands waving. I danced with her husband at the VFW.....one fast dance...Black is Black. Thanked her again for sharing her husband for a dance. She remarked that it was good to see me looking so good as in all our past visits to the V.A. I looked drained with the stress. Damn....you never know who you are going to run into at a bar. ;0)  Yes....I did feel ALIVE! I shit you not!
From Lowell, I headed to Nashua,NH. Took the wrong exit off the highway....the one before the one I should have taken and YES I have a GPS, but I thought I remembered where I was going from being there six weeks ago. No problem...was familiar with that area and knew which direction to head in. Arrived at 2. :0)  Had my legs under me by 3 something ( the legs go numb after those injections) and I was set to go. No sooner home than it was time to collect Lady to take her to the groomers. Before I left son Randy asked me where I wanted the poles for the bird houses up. Damn.....the one in the back yard is not where i asked him to put it.  TOO he has one of the nest boxes facing the pool. I expilcitly told him no openings that when the birds fledge they will most likely end up in the pool.  sighhhhhhhhhhh He may get pissed when I ask him to change things, BUT OHHHHHHHHHHHH WELL!  From there, I stepped next door to the second hand shop and browsed. Found a cute LadyBug candy container. $4.
Did I need it? NO! I liked it and of course Lady Bugs are what.......RED ;0)


From there I pulled across the street to the VFW.  Bought myself one drink. Would not let Jill's old ? friend George buy me the second.  Listened to him tell me how wonderful my daughter Jill is and how alive she has made him feel. The kindest heart. Never met anyone like her. You raised your daughter well...yadda,yadda,yadda.
    Do you remember me telling you that a patron of the VFW sat in a closet to smoke his cigars???
What day was it when I met this older gentleman? My first day in there, I think.
He passed away in his sleep two nights ago. RIP Paul G.

On one of my trips home I noticed a small red car parked on the side of the road in front of my 125 foot frontage. Thought maybe it was a visitor for the house across the street and gave it no more thought.  Sarah's sister and her baby girl had come from HI and Sarah picked her up at the airport at 3, so when she left the baby this morning she told Jill she would be early picking Gavin up. As I was leaving to got to the groomers she pulled in the driveway. Her sis' baby is adorable. Seven months old I think. What a longgggggggggggggg flight she had from Hawaii, but she was still all smiles.
Jill headed to the grocery store as soon as Sarah and I left.  Another $170 .
I got back from the groomers and VFW before she came back. Helped her bring in a few things and she did not want my help as she knew I had just had injections in my back, so I held the door open for her each time she got in front of it. There is NO WAY we can leave the door open with CASH. NOPE...NO WAY JOSE!!!
Unbeknownst to moi....until later in the evening...Gil was in his bedroom. It was LATER too that I heard from her that she had watched Dr.Phil earlier and the subject was on drug abusers and their enablers.
She has had her suspicions about Gil lately. sighhhhhhhhhhhh 

Asked hubby what I could cook him for his supper. Gave him some choices of what we had in the house and he chose kielbasa and beans, BUT NOT TOO MUCH!  Deal.....  I begin gathering pans and I hear from Jill's room in a joking voice " do you have to make so much noise. Can't a person get some sleep here. ." Knew it wasn't Jill...it was Michelle. It was much later in the evening that I remembered that Jill told me she had called her on Saturday crying her heart out. I figured it was hubby troubles. I'm not one to pry. My kids want to talk to me....fine. If not....fine too.

At six p.m. it was time to gather up Ginger to take her to the groomers and get her nails cut ( she hates it and gets so stressed out when i take her out the front door on a leash that she either SHITS immediately . shits in the car, shits outside the groomers in front of the door, shits on their floor or shits on the table they cut her nails on. She chose out on the front lawn this time. Michelle had hugged and kissed me goodbye saying she probably wouldn't be here when I got back home with the dogs. ( She was driving that red car. It was her daughter Theresa's and she just bout herself a new car. ) Her oldest daughter Jessica is driving her car. Theresa must have kept her car for her mom to use instead of trading it in.
I hand her off to the groomer and take possession of Lady.  Get her into the car...come back inside to write a check and take possession of Ginger. Dang...she weighs alot for a chihuahua. I shit you not! My back wasn't feeling too good by this time. Pull onto my street and see the red car still there and TRACIE's CAR IN MY DRIVEWAY.   Right away my thoughts go to she is probably hearing Michelle's troubles and those too will be spread around town. Thankfully Jill and Michelle were closed up in her bedroom and Tracie was at the table.
It was very quickly that I decided to get out of the house and we headed to Walmart. From there a few feet further over to Applebees to eat. Selected a Weight Watcher meal and when I came home ( after talking with Jill) I had two chocolate covered cookies.
Tracie helped me in with my bags and LEFT. :0)
It was sometime later that I heard voices in Jill's room and went to investigate. It was she and Logan and she was crying her heart out. IMMEDIATELY my thoughts flashed to Michelle. No, it was stuff that was building up in her. She suspects Gil isn't being honest with her about using any drugs. His attitude, his actions, his furtiveness, etc. HE LAY ON HIS BED as she carried in those $170 worth of groceries.Never offered to help her. My words now ( His f'n Hot Pockets, his sweets, his cokes, his Gatorade, his other frozen meals and goodies he likes.). 
Didn't give a F and offer to help her. Then Logan stepped in Gingers dog shit and tracked it everywhere. On the steps and landing...in the house. Five buckets of soapy hot water and a scrub brush to clean the stairs and steps, more elbow grease in the house and sneakers tossed in the washer to be washed so he's have a pair for gym today.  No offer of help from either of her sons. He's saying,I'm sorry mommy, I'm sorry.  Gil had made a smart remark to her as to who done the tracking. "How do you know it was Logan and not the cat?"  ASSINE remark... I might add here.   That set her emotions off too. She knew he was just pushing her. He throws it up to her that she shouldn't be watching Gavin. Let Ryan watch his own f'n baby,  he has told her.  HE IS JEALOUS!  She has told him that Ryan's heart would be broken if he ever heard him say that.  What this stems from is....she won't let him use her car every day to work painting with Bob. She has told him there will be good days when she wants to go to a park or some place with the baby.Therefore...he won't be working with Bob ...which would have been great for Gil IF he spent his paycheck on the RIGHT THINGS! KAPEESH!The episode of Dr.Phil she watched made her even more aware that she is an enabler..... Gil isn't being truthful with her about what he has been up to ( his mood swings ) she needs to kick him out AGAIN and it's the most painful thing that she ever had to do. She cried a week the first time. Her heart is torn...her heart is broken. She's not appreciated. Now Logan wants to live with dad and begin grade 8 in that school system.  She can't do for him what his dad does. NO MONEY!  Just trying to keep herself and Gil in cigarettes, gas in her car ( Gil put 60 miles on her $20 in the gas tank yesterday), has no logical explanation for where he went with her car. Drug hunt????  She gave Logan money to go get an ice cream with his friends. Yesterday it was K of C. He wanted Wendys for supper and there is food in the house for her to make him a meal...which didn't set well with him.. nothing I do is appreciated.......  Logan did apologise to her and she told him his apology meant alot to her.  OF COURSE....being a kid...he will forget...  and repeat. sighhhhhhhh
I know you have had your heart broken many times by us kids mom. Thanks for just listening to me without saying anything,    is what she later said to me.
   Julie, her ex's wife was suppose to have called her back yesterday with plans of what the next step for Gil is...and didn't. He is resenting having his freedom monitored by Jill. Resenting her.
No more suboxin will be paid for by insurance.  They want $200 up front ...each visit. Seventeen other clients are in this same boat.   Which reminds moi...when she asked Gil to take a suboxin in front of her yesterday...he refused to.  Her knowledge of suboxin tells her the reason why is....he would get deathly sick if he takes a suboxin after he uses drugs. 

I'll talk about what's going on with Michelle tomorrow. 
Hubby has an appointment to have a test taken in the urology department in Boston.at 12:30 today. Last night he claimed he was in agony before I stepped out to get Lady from the groomers. I watched the procedure as Jill did it and FROM THIS DATE FORWARD I FEEL COMFORTABLE DOING IT....AND I WILL. I don't care that he will complain that I will be mean to him. I WILL NOT! I shit you not!
Even down to pressing on his abdomen with the back of my palm to get as much more urine out as I can get..

The W.B is here. My cement front steps will have a jack hammer taken to them in a few hours.
Randy has a gutter man coming this morning to measure the footage of gutter I need for my house and give me a price.  He should be here momentarily. Randy had planned on being here to direct him , but he called Jill and gave her a ton of instructions to give this guy. When i asked her why he won't be here she told me he sounds heavily medicated. He takes some strong RX's at times. Then again, he may have "tied one on."  Who knows, who cares. Except Jill that has to remember his words to her to give to this guy. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ohhhhhhhhhhh...wait til I tell you about the W.B. and his new purchase.  You will laugh your ass off. I shit you not!  Hubby is emerging from the bathroom. He has taken his shower. Needs some help now . (((hugs)))Pat

That's All Folks!

D D To all my blogger friends I will pass THIS on to you

what my son in FL passed on to moi.  Hold the Control tab and the Plus + tab down together and your text or the text you are viewing will INCREASE IN SIZE. Do it again..Bigger, do it again Bigger yet. I shit you not!
NOW I can decipher those code words some of us bloggers have use to protect against unwanted commenters. :0)  HOORAY!!!

Like Mikey...." try it, you'll like it! ;0)

Meanwhile back at the farm the shit keeps coming. Yesterday Gavin shit eight times with this new formula shit. He was not a happy camper with the taste of it either and keep grunting and groaning, puking and in general...letting Jill know he was not going on formula without a fight. ;0)  She was relieved to see dad's face come for him at five and her stress was evident. She ached for the baby being so miserable. Yep, hurts us more than it does them.How true!  How true!

DUH! Just now remembered what I just preached to you above. I was squinting my eyes and moving closer to the screen to view what I have written. 

Feel better physically this early morning. It's 6:30 a.m. Could only eat half my chicken pot pie meal that I bought at Good Thymes last night. THAT is so not moi. I shit you not!  May have mentioned that I have a cold too that I have been neglecting. Took some cold medicine last night. Maybe that has helped, maybe it's just run it's course. Whichever...I'll take it!!! .

To my defense....I only would have bought myself 3 mixed drinks. Bought the first one. Jill bought me the second drink. Ernie ( recently widowed and was married to the love of his life ) bought me the third and after that......?????????????????????????????????????????????/No one poured those last three down my throat. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  ME BAD!  ( that's the language the youth and hip people are using ). ;0) Mother Hen Tracie told me last night that the smoke in that bar didn't help my cold.  YES,MA! ....and Weight Watchers could tell me that the piece of birthday cake I ate at the bar and the six drinks did not help my weight. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Yes...thank you concience. ;0)

Grandson Logan's project was due today .He made it after 7 p.m last night. :0(   He called Jill from school yesterday to let her know and gave her a list of supplies he needed. WTF!   He has to have known this project was due today...WEEKS AGO.   .....It cost $45 for supplies to make it. True... not every child involved was given the specific order to purchase the items that Logan did. Each child had their own ideas and used their own imagination on what they wanted to make to represent a ladybug. This was entirely Logan's idea. MOI couldn't keep her mouth upon hearing THIS. Told him if I was his mother...THIS would be the last time i bailed his butt out. NEXT TIME he can take an F for his project.  To which he asks of his mother, "are you going to be mean to me like Nana said ?."
She did have the courtesy to say. "it would be the right thing to do."
He has spent 90% of his time this past month...at his dads. Working on the used boat dad bought him, studying for his license to operate it ( 98 was his test score ), fishing and in general blowing gas out the back of the motor ( dad has the money...his wife works.) What a "FUN GUY", he is. Yeah, I'm being vicicious! AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Of course....Logan is also at fault....

I like the Whine Bucket's idea. Which was to name his boat ( that he spent so many hours working on and fishing in when he was suppose to be doing this project ) LadyBug. Snap a picture of his boat and bring that to school today. ;0)  Myself....I'm thinking he could have taken a picture that I already have of my pomeranian ( who's name is Lady, but we affectionately call her LadyBug.) I may have wrote this at one time.....when both Gil and Jill were in Jill's custody .... Shit For Brains ( the ex SIL from Hell) told us that his visitation hours were for FUN TIME...Ours were for his schoolwork.  Only problem with that was,,,,,,,they shared their children EQUALLY.  One may have been the custodial parent, BUT the courts in all their wisdom split the week in half ( instead of the child.) excuse the pun ;0) GUESSING........ it's his same "game plan) with Logan.  Dad's the "good guy", mom's a "fun buster) .....yeah dad, I rather live with you. THERE went Gil and there went his grades and his future.
I suppose they can go back to school when they are nearly forty and achieve their goals like their dad has.  He must be 44 now and will graduate from Law School next month.  He is no dummy, but common sense wise...HE IS! As a father I give him a POOR GRADE! I shit you not!
.....so when Logan came home from school yesterday ( starving like teenagers do ) and was on Jill's ass to drop everything and go get him KofC ..... she blew! You don't badger dad like you do me,,,,you wouldn't talk to him in that tone of voice .... how many times did dad run and get you KofC....he replied. He took me to Fudruckers and you don't. Do you know how badly I wanted to say. "if your dad paid child support, SHE COULD!"  GRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
After four years of that asshole pretty much being in MS .... once again we are going to have to be "the bad guys" and Logan will need deprograming after spending time at dads.  While I'm at it....what a joke that is when the judge and other court involved people tell you NOT TO talk bad about your ex partner in front of or to your minor children.  She complies with that rule......on the other hand............... she gets shit told to them by him told to her and not always in the best way.  Dad says.....      SHUT MY MOUTH to what I was just thinking.  Dad was fucking someone else while I was pregnant with you Logan !!!  That's what I would be tossing out there ( I get so pissed when I hear what dad says.....that's not her way.  A mother's cross is hard to bear.... things fester in your brain and you take the wrong way out and drink to forget.  NEITHER way is right! Only when they are grown ups will they know What is What!  Gil realizes some of it now....but he sees BOTH their faults. Love and like are two different things...................CLOSE, but No Cigar! That's how it was in the beginning and how it will be in the end.  CLASS is dismissed!


It's 10:35  p.m.  More shit Hit The Fan tonight........tomorrow is a new day. (((hugs)))Pat

That's All Folks!

D D I was a b a d girl

Have I learned anything from it? Probably not! Did I have a good time when I was doing the b a d thing. YES!   Six drinks and no diet cokes , no trips to the restroom since I left to go get ( around 7p.m. ) a few groceries, jewelry needle nose pliers and window suction cups ( 3 stores ) in one strip mall and was minding my own business ( but could be easily tempted ) the phone call came as I was halfway thru the grocery store. Jill: I'm thru work and am at the Vee. Lisa is here tonight playing Karaoke. I'm beat, I won't be staying long....COMEON DOWN.  We closed the place. I shit you not!   Gil had left her there after he picked her up from work and she drove us the mile home...DRUNK. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  I feel worst about that than I do any other of my behaviors. I shit you not! 
She no sooner pulled in the driveway when I headed for the groceries in my car trunk ( 6 bags and one jug each of bleach and rinse. No Jill....front door left open and fFUCKIN Cash runs past me and takes off for parts unknown. Gil comes out after him and I drop three bags for him to take in and piss myself. I mean PISS MYSELF!  Now that alone should tell me something....,but no...what it is telling me is that I should use the facilities when I am in a bar. :0(  PLUS....while I did wake nauseas, I did not have or get a H/A the kind of which you pray to die. No H/A...just slight nausea that kept me applying a cold damp rag to my head and face and the general FEEL LIKE SHIT ALL DAY LONG FEELING.
The entire house was awake after Cash split...which means hubby.:0(  Gil was VERY UPSET with his mom for not closing the door behind her and was out searching for him. Actually what he did have to say to her is too embarrassing to even write. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  Her taking him up on his dare to call Logan and tell him that HIS DOG was gone is even more painful to write about. THIS WAS 2 a.m. in the morning that I was reassuring Logan that we'd find his dog and call him back. Need I say more??????  THAT ALONE sobered me up quickly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Dog caught , Logan called back and given the all is well and the efffin dog wants out back. I let him out and he proceeded to HOWL.  OMG..... He would not come inside and he would not stop. Hubby FINALLY locates his whistle and is blowing it. He tells me that it makes Cash stop. ?????  Yeah like...he blows the whistle, Cash stops howling for a second and RESUMES...and so on anddddd so on.   The neighbors must love us. I SHIT YOU NOT!  Hoping none of them woke. Two hours after we FINALLY RETIRED TO BED, hubby wakes and WAKES ME. He pissed the bed.  Is a certain someone trying to punish me???? Got up and stripped most of the bed down. Thank goodness that I use protection for my mattress.
THEN....the day started for me. Could not go back to sleep. Felt like I was going to throw.....that feeling lasted for some hours. I would walk outside with a small trash bucket ( just in case) PLUS I didn't want hubby to hear me if I did throw up. sighhhhhhhhh  Light mist of rain falling. The cool/cold air felt good on my body.   Later in the morning and through out the day, I grabbed naps. Some would be considered l o n g e r than a nap. :0)
Ya know.... Tracie was just coming into that grocery store as I was leaving and asked me my plans for the evening. I should have paid heed to the stricken look on her face and her words to me...please don't go Pat.  sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 
If I was sober and had caught wind that Jill was calling Logan at his dads...I would have stopped her.
I heard that the W.B. came here after I fell asleep and she gave him his ring back.  THEN...around 7 a.m. ( another time I was out in the back yard ) he comes. They had more words. Heard her ORDER HIM to never ever pull her covers off her and order him to leave. Later I hear from her that he told her that she never gave him his ring back and she must have given it to someone at the VEE. Left saying "call me when you find it."  That's B/S!  YET.... she was so drunk her memory isn't clear about it. WTF!  I saw it on her hand during the night when we were there.    Did things END THERE ? Hell no....she drove off around 5:30 with Gil and before she pulled out of the driveway I opened the door and yelled out. She pulled back in and I asked her her plans. Be back at 6:30 when Logan gets home, she said.  Twenty minutes later Gil was back with the car. She was at the VEE and he wanted no part of what was to come, so he left her there. Logan was dropped off at 6 and he called her. Some how her plan to come home changed to seven....( which didn't happen). Logan had left his reading book at dads and called him. Needed to read seven chapters before school today.  WTF! Why wasn't someone in that household making sure he was ready for school today? Why hadn't he eaten supper before they drove him home? After alot of pleading from Logan, dad did come back here with the reading book. Then it was fun ( NOT) getting him to hunker down and read it. Even Gil kept on his ass every once in awhile. Tracie had shown up at my door some fucking time and I told her I was too tired for company and was hitting my bed in a half hour. Did that send her on her way. Hell no. Did she leave in a half hour. Hell no. It was too juicy here and she didn't want to miss a thing!
Hubby had some piece of shit on tv ....I dozed off maybe around nine.   Don't know what time I turned the tv off. When I did , I heard someone in the kitchen and yelled out, Logan if that's you in the kitchen, it's past your bedtime. Jill answered me. It's Jill. Logan is tucked in bed. The noise I had heard was her washing the pan and dishes from ther meal he cooked himself for supper. Velveeta cheese and shells. She did tell him on the phone that she woul,d clean any mess he made from cooking when she came home.  She didn't sound plastered, but who knows. I could walk and talk, BUT I WAS F'N PLASTERED the night before. I shit you not! 
Tracie was making facial expressions as Logan gets his pan to cook in out from under a cupboard and is hunting for the matching lid to fit it. Soooooooo I asked him how many meals he cooked for himself and Erzi all week long. He starts to name them....turkey burgers, hot dogs, hamburgers, Ramen chicken soup.....all just wonderful efffin healthy meals :0( .....  OH but they went to Fudruckers to eat out night before...... he exclaimed happily.  He did get to go out in his boat....and he fished ( mom gave him her fishing stuff to use) and he is happy. It just must be ME and Tracie of course that this bothers. THAT and learning that DAD has set up all his power tools for him and Erzi to use.   I can tell you right now...there will not be adult supervison.  sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh  Why can't I stop letting this shit....get to me?
Jill and I need to talk again. She needs to go to councilling and meetings. Gil does go to see someone twice a week, but has stopped going to meetings . I asked him the other day if he thought he would find one he liked by avoiding them all.  Yeah...I was being vicicious! 

5:50 a.m. Jill is up to begin her day. In twenty minutes she will wake Logan for school.

I feel crappy. Functional, BUT CRAPPY ....and I am tired. With my luck...if I lie down....hubby will wake. :0(  Going to give it a shot. BBL

As soon as I walked into my bedroom I knew I faced a challenge of getting back into my bed. Hubby was sleeping sideways on the mattress and his head was on my side. Climbed in bed and kept pushing my back against his head til most of me was on the bed. He began to grumble.  My knees were still hanging off, but I managed to doze off. Heard Logan go into the shower.Heard him eating the pancakes she made himm and talking to Cash at the table just outside my bedroom door.  Didin't hear him leave. Sometime later I heard Sarah with the baby and dozed back off again. Then I came to enough around 8:15ish to hear the W.B. talking. Hubby was pissing in his urinal and had 3 pads he had gone through lying on the floor. Needed a clean one.  Woke just in the nic of time ;0)  Yeah...I'm laughing myself...too! The W.B. was talking to Gil about going to work with him.   What a joke! This kid IS NOT AMBITIOUS! Rather lay around the house all day, play Xbox and raid the fridge and cupboards\.....and That's The Truth! As I'm waiting on hubby I hear him talking to Jill and he sounded like nothing. I MEAN NOTHING , happened between them the day before. I shit you not!
He leaves to go to work and I had to ask.......................................Did you find the ring at the VEE and call him? She scoffed. I said, well Gil told me you were looking for it at the VEE and I figured you got down on your kn nes and searched the place for it and found it. More scoffing on her part.
She says, he came here this morning and asked me if I found it. I told him that I wasn't about to searfch for it becasuse I clearly remember handing it TO HIM, so don't try to mess with my mind. Sheepishly he said, You Did and reached in his pocket and gave it back to her.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO it's SAME SHIT....DIFFERENT DAY.  I did say to her before she told me he admitted having it that if she is unable to recall shit when she drinks she needs HELP. I didn't get in to any other OF IT! Not yet!

So while I did get more sleep that my body must have badly needed, my stomach STILL tells me that I ABUSED IT. I shit you not! 

OH!!!  Son Randy called me yesterday ( just like nothing nhappened ) and said he had talked to his brother in FL and he would be down and he and Sonny by( logmein) ...would do updates on my main PC and put whatever sites I wanted into it. He came and after a few hours on the phone with Sonny and them doing their technical stuff ( like wiring up the unit that will store all of my stuff ( already i have forgotten the name ) and never ever again will I lose what I store in my computer :0) he kissed me goodbye saying he was going home to watch the Bruins game and would be back today.
He BEHAVED HIMSELF! That was yesterday....today is a NEW DAY.The next few hours it was Sonny and myself. Thought we'd never get done.  Dumbass me kept thinking of more sites I wanted loaded in my computer. A Ha! Didn't tell him about BLOGGER.  I'll do that MYSELF! I shit you not!
   I just "spit out" a little more about the bullshit with Logan not having the seven chapters read when he came home. Ten days to do it in. WTF!  Told her that apparently at age 13,  he still needs someone on his ass to make sure he gets things done.. No comment.  Like usual.

Did Gil get his ass out of bed to go to work with the W.B. Hell no. Heard W.B. say," this is where I'll be", call me when you wake up. Well he's awake, but NO CALL has been made. 

Gavin was switched from breast milk to formula this weekend. Sarah has almost stopped producing.
He's in front of the fish tank watching the 2 koi's and squealing away with delight. :0)

I need to get up off my ass and strip the bed. Hubby is running low on everything. Don't use the white hand towel if you visit. ;0)  The white are HIS to catch the dribbles.
(((hugs)))Pat

That's All Folks! 

D  D   I sit here before you this Sunday morning.....SICK. :0(
To much PARTY HEARTY last night. I shit you not!
(((hugs)))Pat

That's All Folks!