Dear Diary My most embarrassing moment.

Was dating hub #2 who was in the Army at that time. Can't remember if he took me to the base bingo game, he had to have to get onto the base, but remember the end of that day only too well. 
Back in those days you won prizes.  Me not a drinker, won a half gallon of vodka. Lucky me, NOT!
On the way home hub #2 stopped, got orange juice, paper cups....I got shit faced.....I shit you not!
Somewhere on the drive home I needed to throw up. Must have made it known, the car came to a stop, opened the door, turned, leaned forward n heaved. Next thing that I was aware of was him carrying me over his shoulder with me farting with every jounce all the way to the front door. Step,fart, step,fart, I shit you not!
The front door opened, my mother was standing there, look in her eyes was anything but happy to see us.
It was THE LOOK!
Managed to fall into bed fully clothed. As soon as his lips touched mine to say goodbye I came to a horrible realization. My top plate of false teeth was missing.  I shit you not!
My mind quickly unscrambled , asked him where it was he stopped the car... we said our see you tomorrows, instantly I sobered up.
Walked less than a half mile maybe. Found the spot. There lay my teeth in many,many pieces.
 Run over, I shit you not!    Bummed out big time I made it back home, into bed.  First daylight hour a buisness opens I was on the phone. Got an appointment that same day. Oh, thank you Lord.
Now the fun begins waiting for the new teeth to be made.. Hub #2 calls, wants to come over that night. Geez, after last night he really wants to see me again. WOW!!!!! Moi tells him that she has a bad cold. Took much convincing to stall him that day. Next day he wouldn't be stalled ...ut,oh!  Kept my hand over my mouth , I'm so nice, I don't want to give him my germs.. hahahahaha  My younger sis is there. At the supper table she opens her BIG mouth, says " arn't you going to tell him? " I give  her THE LOOK n kick her under the table. She don't back down.
He is looking at me with a questioning look. She persists saying " if he is going to marry you , he has a right to know", I give her THE LOOK n harder kick. Now his facial expression looks like ,what the hell is up, does she have a veneral disease." People shouldn't keep secrets from each other if they are going to get married" , she says.
Can't remember if I already had an engagement ring on for the life of me, but other things are all too clear. LOL....   NOW!   Then.....NOT! 
Well 2 weeks or 10 days waiting for my new teeth wasn't going to work out .Somewhere during that time , after much questioning, I fessed up . Red flushes my face as I type this. He kept coming to see me. The ready made family of 5 kids didn't scare him off , nor did the toothless mom of those kids. I shit you not! 
He did have some redeeming qualities about him. Wish i could say they lived happily ever after. He was a mama,daddy's boy with a big drinking problem. Went home to the ex inlaws from Hell in Jackiesue's town of West.  Their headstones are lined up together in St.Mary's Cemetery . He took care of them as he was told all his life that he had to... a good son takes care of his parent's in their old age. They lived to ripe old ages, he lived on this earth for 59 years. Sad....Two years after his last parent died, he was gone.
We had 2 kids born on the same date a year apart he walked away from in body when they were 5 n 6.
 Did love his kids..kept in touch with them until  he died.. Came to this house when kids were grown n had kids of their own . Hubby n I loaded him up with garden tomatoes, no alcohol.
My dad was an alcoholic.. I hate alcoholism !!!! Destroys so many lives.
Never have I gotten shit faced again... had the FLU a few times.. this hubby says I can't keep up with the big boys..He may be right. THIS TIME! . The flu days are oevr too., don't like being sick. UGH! Yeck!
That's All Folks!