I truly care for this man, but I can't fix myself... let alone fix him.
Here it is going on 1 a.m. He couldn't fall asleep until midnight and who knows when I will!
The way we ended the night, was not good. Oh...he wants me to be his girlfriend, he tells me with almost a cry in his voice that he loves me so muich it hurts, but he claims the passion has gone out of the romance for him. Like WTF!!! I can't help it if he can't keep IT up. Take tonight for instance, he gets a semi and loses it and tells me during our love making that his mind takes him back to where he lived when he was six/seven down at such and such streets, so he loses his semi. Asks me...why do I do this? Like how the F do I know. Is this where I am going to die, he asks me. Like...I have the answer.
So I get a perfunctuary peck goodnight and as he turns over, he says he wants me in his life and then says "thank you for being my girlfriend."
I'm going to suggest that we just date. Maybe then he will feel passion or what ever the F he thinks he's missing. What I'd really like to suggest is that he find a couple of women on that dating site and date them both if it's excitement he wants. He has actually intimated that we have become like an old married couple and he feels his age (80). I've heard..from his mouth."the honeymoon is over."
Well....when you can't get it up ...what does he expect. I try to make him feel like a man and try to let him down easy , saying that I don't care if he can't. That's my manhood, he says. Yeah, I understand. I on the other hand keep getting all worked up ...for nadda!
He asked for and got filled a new RX for Viagra..... ( a whole 4 a month the insurance will pay for) and what the F does he do but use the outdated RX he had when his wife was alive. All it gives him is pounding in his eyes, he feels flush, rapid heart beat and a 4 minute semi erection.
Now, while I don't know if the new RX will do any different, one would think that he would use a new pill as all the old pills have done SHIT!
Sooooooooooooooo....as I was saying, somethings gotta give.
Wish I knew he wouldn't be hurt if I went home, but I know he will and I hate hurting someone who I care about that has been nice and loving to me in many ways.
To be continued.
(((hugs)))
That's All Folks!
I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop and here it is. He sounds like he is kicking you to the curb before you do it to him. He's playing you like a harp. He has many good qualities but underneath it all he is a little, confused boy or a very good actor. Please take off the rose-colored glasses and move on. He "wants you to be his girlfriend" so how can he be hurt when you take him up on his offer??
ReplyDelete((((hugs)))) Pea
I'm sorry to hear that your romance is going sorry. However, since you are my friend, I do have to say this. I often wondered how he could kick his ex to the curb so quickly before. I have to wonder if this is a pattern for him...fall deeply in love, slowly withdraw as time goes on, and suddenly become enamoured with a new love in his life. Pea is right. Get out while the getting is good. He doesn't mean to hurt you, but it is obvious that the man has many issues he has never worked out. It is almost as if 'real love' scares him and he backs off before he feels he will be hurt. There is something somewhere in his past.
ReplyDeleteMary
I may not know much, but I will say that passion is something that falls out of many areas as we get older... learning, work, family... we just go through the motions.
ReplyDeleteLOVE shouldn't be one of them.
Sure there's times when we can't focus, life gets in the way, mundane every day happens... but he should ALWAYS give you butterflies. ALWAYS.
If not, then maybe he's not the one you want.
Men. They never f*cking grow up. I say we all turn gay. :)
ReplyDeleteYour wise Pat, and no you can't fix him. I love Foxy Moron advise to funny!!!
ReplyDeleteGet out of this relationship he is to old for you anyway. I`m following your blog since a long time and now I feel sorry for you, there is a lot of nice man still waiting for us elderly woman. Don`t waste your time. Greetings from Europe.
ReplyDeleteI think you have an 80 year old baby.
ReplyDelete