D D Fit to be...TIED!

Jill got shit faced last night. Not only did she get shit faced, but she had to involve her son Gil in her drinking spree. Went out at six ( alone) and came home sometime near 9 shit faced, borrowed money from hubby and asked her son  go out with her for more drinks.
Now you ask why I didn't stop her........I wasn't here.
Tracie and I left around fourish to go up to Salem,NH to Friends Lumbar and Wallyworld where there is NO SALES TAX.

Ut Oh.... a war may begin. Butch just walked through the front door. He worked last night . Well half his shift. Took half a day off to drive his daughter to school and supposedly work on his own place painting. INSTEAD he ended up getting pissed off at Jill cause all she does is things around here ( HEY ...SHE LIVES HERE! ) and never does anything at his place to help him out.  What kind of a relationship is this???,he asked. You take meds and end up like a bump on a log and,and,and.
All this was related to me after I got back from the chiro and he stormed out soon after.
Her hands were shaking. She had just taken a med to calm her nerves. HIS YELLING gets her all worked up. YEAH...I ask myself...what kind of a fucking relationship do they have!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He stays here when he doesn't have his daughter,also the two nights a week he works ( 24 hour shifts). That's 2-3 nights here and she NEVER goes to his place. NEVER! DAY OR NIGHT!  He told her he rented a 3 bedroom house for her and Logan to live with him and she reminded him for the umpteenth time that she never agreed to live with him or encouraged him to rent such a big place.  He can NOT afford the rent ALONE and took a boarder in ( a drunk that all he does is complain about and threaten)( this week the drunk used all his toilet paper up and ate his daughters two Reeses Cups), BUT NEEDS his $650 TO ADD TO HIS $800 SOME ODD TO PAY THE RENT. WHICH as of the the tenth of this month HAS NOT been paid.
This is the same man that could not pay the $1000 mortgage on his home and lost it to foreclosure. His place was a 2 family and he rented the small upstairs apartment out for $800 a month.
You do the math... he couldn't come up with the $200 and NOW he has to come up with $800 some odd.  LUNACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They are both, sick,sick,SICK ! I shit you not!
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm  ...just a few words spoken between them and he left to go to work, Heard him say... she gets drunk and calls him at eleven to tell him she loves him.
Interesting....VERY INTERESTING.
At ten something she was wanting me to hold her hand. Kept calling to me.... mom,mom.
I took her hand and she held it tightly. I was feeling very unlike her mother and only felt DISGUST. Wrested her grip and the words I spoke, I do not remember. Nor do I care to. More of those words have been spoken to her again this morning. You can't fix your son, cause you haven't fixed yourself. You ARE NOT robbing me of the last few years of my life. You can have anything in this house that you want. NOTHING means anything to me anymore.  If Mike was in good health I'd have been gone a long time ago.  MORE.....MUCH MORE.............................
     Hubby's pills for the rest of the day (4) were not where I left them when I got home. I'm like a raving lunatic on the phone talking to her cell voice mail.  Turned out ...this morning she tells me that it was she that hid them before she left so that Gil would not be tempted to take them.
Up until last night....hubby had NO CLUE to Gil's drug problem.  I did not want THAT STRESS put him and Tracie was present and filled him in on what's been going on with Gil's drug, heroin addiction. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr doesn't she realize that causes me more stress? Never being in a relationship or married...I guess NOT!
All I'll get is GRIEF and MORE GRIEF from hubby. I can't change things.
 I DON'T NEED THE ADDED GRIEF!
From the time I got home around 9 until after ten thirty Logan was on the phone with his dad. Dad was filling him in on his brother's problems/addiction/trouble with the law....not like he hasn't already tried to turn him against his brother. A few times I stuck my head in his room and asked him if dad had called to wish him a good day tomorrow. ( Today is his first day to go over to the tech school ), two times a week for three weeks, three different shops to try out to see if he might be interested in going there for ninth grade.  Dad is so against it....FUCK me ...he graduated from a tech school.
Maybe Logan will be fortunate to go to college at age fourty after finding  himself  (ONLINE DATING )a hugger with a great job to support his household while he is off in another state in college.           Let the kid decide for himself what he wants!
Every night since that son of a bitch has gone back to MS he calls Logan. This has never been his M.O.   Time to get his son over to his side so he can sell his house and move to MS is getting down to the wire.
Okay Pat....you can't save him from possibly becoming as fucked up as his older brother is.
Why fight it?????  If he was out of the equasion...it would be easier to haul ass out here and SELL.  His older brother Ryan is the complete opposite of Gil. Then again...THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE SAME FATHER!     TOO....he had a mother that DIDN'T DRINK!
He was in his twenties when mom started drinking and Gil was around 14 . He was already with his dad. Dad did his best to paint a glorious picture of how life woulkd be if he lived with him when he was thirteen. Once he had him...he persued HIS OWN goals and did some serious dating ( meeting women online ) and left him alone. So much for all the times together that was promised.    I got so sick of hearing the ex SIL from Hell, teary eyed say...your mother had you for X amount of years and it's not fair to me that you are not giving me some of those years with you. ( May not be the exact words, BUT CLOSE.) Then good old dad takes these women on cruises and even buys them a cruise wardrobe and leaves his thirteen year old son ALONE sometimes weeks on his own, with just a family member checking in on him from time to time. DON'T TELL MOM, was his warning!.

         Logan had SIX GREAT YEARS with mom's sobriety. The glue that held it all together. How dare she rob him of the ONE STEADY thing in his life!  HOW?????
Dad had no money for child support though. THE Sick, Sick,SICK bastard.
In the past he has promised Logan all kinds of things to get him to move ( his own ? inch Tv in his bedroom, A computer ( the best back then of course).  He knew he was told that he could not take the custody issue of Logan back to court until he was thirteen as adjudged by the court, but he tried to sway him to come live with him on his own violition. WE ARE FAMILY was the moving drive then. You, me, Gil.  Now there is NO GIL in the equasion. He wants no part of  THAT SON.
Family now is.... him, his wife, his stepson and Logan. His little money makers come IRS time. Gil is now 21....WHO NEEDS HIM AND HIS PROBLEMS!

Kathy came to give hubby his bath. When she entered the front door I warned her of the catastrophe she would encounter once she hit my bedroom doorway. Pics to follow............
THIS is something I do every time that hubby goes into the hospital or a rehab. Keeps me and my mind busy and I have the freedom in my bedroom to organize where and what I want to put back in my closet. NOW THAT Jill has removed her clothing .......I have been itching to get into my closet and see how much more shit I am willing to part with and how much more clutter in my bedroom that I can get OUT OF SIGHT!  Told you sooooooooooooo......I'M DAFFY!
    Ten fourty two. Gil  woke after Kathy left and his shower just ended. Jill is holed up in her bedroom. It's been quiet in there....but when Kathy left I noticed Butchs' car in the driveway.
I assume he came back while I was hastily changing the sheets and blankets on my bed while hubby was out of it :0) and i didn't hear him come in, cause he did leave saying he was headed to work a side job. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...what happened? Does he feel he needs to be by her side????  I once again spent a fitful night waking many times in pain and having trouble falling back to sleep in the same pain I woke with. Heard her getting Logan off to his first day at the tech school and could smell the sausages and pancakes cooking that she promised to make him. :0)
Last night after he was off the phone ( ten thirtyish) I asked him if he was excited about today.
It's just a thing to try to see if I like it.....was his reply. Enthusiastically I told him that Uncle Michael and Uncle Sonny were very excited their first day.  sighhhhhhhhhhh ...then again...they didn't have anyone talking NEGATIVE to them about a tech school. 
I was THE DUMMY back then!  I did not know that the trade schools that I knew of when I was a minor child, were anything BUT THE SAME.  My future college math professor decided at the end of his ninth year of school to go to our local tech. Ohhhhhhh NOoooooooooooooo.
Did I discourage him. Hell No. Did he make the right decision for himself. Hell Yes!

Before Butch took off 8 a.m. ish I asked him once again to measure the wall in back of where i am sitting and asked his input on whether I should go with the 18 inch long cabinets ( that I went to and ordered and paid for yesterday) that can't have a shelf :0( or go for the 24 inch ( with a shelf). He measured and drew with pencil on the wall and then and there I decided......EFFF IT, I am going with the twenty four inch long cabinets. NOBODY, BUT NOBODY over six feet better sit where I am sitting at the table. STORAGE SPACE is what I want!  Called Friends Lumbar and told them to HOLD THE PRESS!  Anything under a K is supposed to be paid for when ordered. I paid for the 18 inch cabinets yesterday ( $331 ) of course these will be more, but THEY TRUST ME for the rest. yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Something is going right! yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
I am a fool...I feel sooooooo giddy! Over cabinets, yet.
   The LIGHT JUST DAWNED. I saw a truck parked on the street earlier. Butch was picked up.

Hubby and I just went round and round on his ankle brace for the umpteenth time. Him insisting I didn't get all of the parts with it and you know where I was ON THAT. He's uttering that he don't give a shit what I say and I'm tossing it right back at him. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Two velcro straps...NOT THREE!
   Tomorrow he sees his primary doctor at eleven a.m.   I am NOT holding out any hope, but I'm going to ask him to UP hubby's pain med. He is doing VERY WELL on taking those oxcodones four times a day ( doctor didn't think he could handle four times a day ) and he is still in pain.
UP IT orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr let him be treated by a physician trained to give methadone.
Hubby doesn't seem to want to wear a cath permanently. At least that's what I get when I have broached the subject. Rather suffer with bladder spasms and pain?????????  Which reminds me....Mary what was the name of the rare bladder cancer your ex had???  Sometimes I think hubby's doctors are missing something.  White count is always elevated, but not high enough to warrant concern. HUH!    We as laymen just take them at their word. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

So ....here I SIT like I have nothing else in the world TO DO. 
Gil took off to put gas in mom's car and get cigarettes and still isn't back. hmmmmmmmmm
I asked him if his friend Barry worked. Thought he was heading off with him as is his norm. Sleep to ???, jump in the shower, dress and TAKE OFF.  My answer was...Barry works nights. Sooooooooo I asked when he slept..''to hear, Barry doesn't sleep much, he likes to hang around with his friends.  hmmmmmmmm so what does that sound like to you???  SPEED????? Heroin???? Some SHIT like that!  It just doesn't EQUATE. Not to MY MIND anyway.

OH WOW! Twelve twenty and she ( Jill ) has a load of laundry washing.  AND...here I still sit , like I have nothing else to be doing. :0( I've made hubby and I a bowl of cereal. Him Wheaties and a whole banana to chose to eat or not and moi... Quaker oats low ? oatmeal. Much too lazy to rise and go look at the package.
LOADED with cut fresh strawberries. AFTER munching on Cherry jelly hearts all morning. :0(
HOW SMART IS THAT?????   DUH!!!!

You know what......son Randy isn't coming today. Think that I will take the phone off the hook and drag my aching body back to bed and try my damndest to try to catch some shut eye before Logan comes home from school......excited or not excited and needs to use the IMAC or whatever it's called....in my room to do his homework.  
Fuck everything !  
Pictures of some of what I am up against...tomorrow orrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
I GIVE!!!!!

That's All Folks!