D D Lost sleep By Choice. Thursday..and woke to a Saturday A.M.NIGHTMARE

  I was HIGH on life Thurday evening .......... My car was in the driveway when I came home from shopping with Tracie.  No...Jill wasn't home, but she brought my car back before she began drinking. :0)
Michelle said she didn't come into the house to see her.
Sometime around eleven while I was putting my purchases away...she came home.  With DRINK in her ...of course.  Not drunk ( no, I don't know what the breathalizer would have read. Probably over the limit though. ), but she wasn't slurring her words.  Wanted to talk and SHARE. :0) WE WERE TWO WOMEN FIGHTING TO SAVE OUR CHILDREN'S LIVES.  She... her middle son Gil and myself ...my baby daughter Jill.
We embraced, we held each other and we cried. Told her I wanted to see " my baby girl " back before I died. I'm working on it mom, she said. She recognized and addressed the hurt and pain I as her mother has been sufferinng as she now has been aware and is involved with her son's addiction and getting him WELL IN BODY AND MIND and knows a MOTHER's PAIN and HEARTACHE.  He is using NEEDLES. Kills me to type that word...let alone think of it.  Some of mine smoked pot and still do....a few tried a few other things that I heard about after they wre adults. None... spoke of heroin use. Just had to look thae spellling of that word up.  She is frightened to death that he will die from using.
In yesterdays obit....one of her good friends sons age 27 died suddenely. She has kept in touch with him these many years and he was here to visit a year or so ago. Came in the house to visit with us a few times while he was here at his brothers down the street in the house they grew up in.  Services are in Vermont. She wouldn't have been able to go if she knew, but she would have called her friend.  DUH...on that thought I will phone her and my son in Florida who was also a close friend when they were growing up. 
She knew....talked to his dad yesterday. Drugs....................  Drugs killed his second wife's oldest son from her first marriage too. :0(  She was at Arlington National Cemetary when she made the call to me. Think I will just send my Sonny an email. They have not been in touch in years.


It was well after midnight before the lights went out ...sleep for me was illusive as I'm sure it was for her. She admitted to losing sleep with thoughts running amok in her mind over her son. TOOK HALF THE BLAME for her son falling off the right path. 
Someone picked her up at 5:30 a.m. today to begin her D.C. trip. Proceeds are to benefit our wounded service men and women. They will visit the military hospital  while there to meet some men and women that are recovering. Has been told she will have profound, sobering moments to reflect ................................  
I have been to D.C. with hubby and walked ( PART ) of the cemetary. Those that have been there know of my loss for words.

Two minutes of three got the call that hubby's whie cell count is up. :0(   Had to run to pick up Cipro from the V.A.Clinic as well as a refill on his pain med.

Enter Saturday morning ....didn't wake FROM a nightmare...woke TO a nightmare.
Hubby was full of shit. I shit you not!   He got shit everywhere from his waist down to in between his toes when he stood as he smushed it into the rug.  It's now 6:45 a.m. , he is on the potty again and I have been cleaning shit for a good hour.  sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  I'm going to need more than candles to get rid of THIS SMELL. I shit you not!
UP DOWN...UP DOWN, right now he's lying down. 
My son Randy wasn't going to come today, but called last night and said he would be here. I was bummed as I thought part of my day would be QUIET ( contruction workers took the weekend off ) ( I'm not so dumb to believe they are home with family A Holiday weekend here or not ). Probably on another job they are needed at by their boss, would be my guess.  Like I said... QUIET weekend sounded good to me.
NOW I am glad Randy is coming. He can Christen my rug shampooer and get hubby's shit and dog's piss out of the bedroom rug. :0)  Some day down the road....this wall to wall RAG, needs to GO. I shit you not!
Sooooooooo this is a fine howdoyoudo... Give hubby colace 2 x's a day, Senakot each night were the newest doctor orders. SHIT...I didn't give him the Senakot and he shit LUCY GOOSEY. 
Was it the Life Of Riley, William Bendix that use to say, " What a revolting developement this is." ???
Another pair of jockey shorts BITES THE DUST!  :0( 
  Tracie left at 9 p.m. last night. :0)  Hubby was wanting to sleep and I was right behind him on that idea. No one coming...just Tracie going.  Thankfully I DID turn in . I needed those zzzzzzzzzzzzzz's before I woke at 5 a.m. to ....SHIT. I'm not done for the day yet...hubby will need a bath, one day on the bed bedding needs washing , and, and and..........................

Cash got himself stuck under the back yard shed yesterday.  I could hear him howling and traced him down.
I was in a panic. Called Randy up out of the cellar where he was wrapping my duct work pipes, etc. with insullation and he was NONE TOO HAPPY.  He had chased the dog down the street a few times already for me yesterday and plenty of other days.  STUPID ( meaning CASH ) could not figure out how he got in there. This opening was at the back of the shed and there is no room for a human to get back there.  WE tried everything. banging on the floor, sticking one of the pool long poles under there to get him to move....he preferred to sit there with a long dumb ass face and not move. :0(
FINALLY Randy got the bright idea to bind a small pry bar to a metal pole and reach under to the farthest corner of the shed and hook him by his collar. Dragged him to where he could reach him and direct him to the opening he came through. I'm down on my knees IN COLD DIRT he has dug shining a flashlight that had the light of a Fire Fly ( needs new batteries calling his name and SWEARING. @##*#@## SOAB!  This dog may well be the only dog that is wearing a leash INSIDE a house.  When he takes OFF you can only get to within a foot or so from him before he dashes OFF. Step on leash...ahha GOTCHA!  GAME OVER!
Randy put a metal stake out in the back yard so I could leave him out to do his business during the day and not worry about him getting under the shed again.  Three times last night I walked him out there to the nearest patch of grass to do his business. Once before bed ... a little after midnight and 4:30 a.m.   Two more days of DOG SITTING.... No shitting ! sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Jill will have to put cement blocks all around that shed .....otherwise SHE can deal with it.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooo  yesterday morning...who should appear? Hint, there were no reindeer.
W.B. handed Randy some cook books for me ( from the age of them I could tell that they were his dead mothers.) I went through them and kept what I was interested in.  Never use my own recipe books anymore. Wonder what possessed me to keep some of these. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 
THEN...he handed Randy a vase with a dozen purple roses and a pack of cigarettes for her.
NEITHER of them KNEW she wasn't home.

When I told Randy she was gone...he smiled, gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek and said ENJOY THEM MOM....... and I AM. ;0)

I smelled the roses this morning :0)  ....after I SMELLED SHIT!

Hot coffee, cold coffee, hot coffee.... hubby wanted a shower NOW! I'm soaked from the waist up. He WON'T listen to me on how to get himself in the tub. Didn't this time either, BUT he did on getting out. Used two towels between the two of us to dry off.  This is when I should check my B/P.  I was FUMING...I shit you not!  Water too hot, water too cold. I had it lukewarm, but his skin is more sensative...so says he and he's probably right. sighhhhhhhhh 

It just turned 8:30.  Visiting nurse coming between ten and noon to check out his squamous cell incision. He scratched/rubbed ? it and the top of it was bleeding yesterday so they want it checked out.  If this medical problem hadn't have arisen...there would have been no nurse on the weekend.

Which to me...is less chaos, but we do what we have to do. sighhhhhhhh

I hurried and made the bed up. A 40 yard Dash like I like to fondly call it. :0(  Lit TWO EFFIN CANDLES! This is NOT a ONE CANDLE JOB. I shit you not!

UP AGAIN......hubby wanted his second cup of coffee. No sooner went to sit my ass back down and he wanted to know if he had more cookies somewhere. I stepped around the lined up dogs to open his nightstand and check. That would be a NO and I told him if he keeps feeding those dogs his cookies I will........................................!!!

HIM whose Pet Peeve was dogs begging for our food and NOW HE FEEDS THEM PEOPLE FOOD.  #@&*##@ 

I hear my morning oatmeal calling me. ;0)  It's 9 a.m.

Washing machine is doing it's thing. Hubby has the TV volume up too high for my liking.

THERE IS NO QUIET! 

Got not one stitch done on the baby afghan yesterday. :0( 

A damned doorbell rang on the TV and the dogs started in just now. 

Where are the men with the straight jackets when you need them......;0)

That's All Folks!