D D Mothers do get weary

Try a little tenderness.....

It's not even a new day. Well it will be when I post this, but it's still Wednesday.
If I didn't remember...I heard Meat Raffle Day being said in the kitchen just now.
That would mean it's a Wednesday. YUP!
Jill went off between 11 and noon.  Just came home at 5:30 p.m. with DD of the Tom and DD team.
She is feeling no pain and should not have driven home...let again go back out.
She is  at the stove making spaghetti.  Defrosted her sauce from the freezer this morning.
Meantime I have been doing 4 loads of laundry and folding them,etc.
Nothing much else has been done here and certainly nothing by her.
There is no such thing anymore such as staying home during the day and partying at night.
It's party day and night....well for some people that is. :0(
My spirits are weary and so am I.  sigh!
Apprehension and anxiety are building in me thinking about her going back out.
 Feel it in the pit of my stomach and chest.
It's just not right.
Logan has had many friends in this afternoon since school got out and papa gets upset easy when he sees or hears the fridge being constantly opened and same with the front door.  In and out, in and out.
Then it's look to see whats for snacks in the snack drawer.
His friends all follow suit.....he gets tonic, they do. he gets a snack, they do.
I don't want to be known as the mean grandmother and it's hard to let them watch Logan eat and drink.
At least to me it is.
If Jill was home she could speak to Logan in private. It shouldn't be up to me...even if I pay for the stuff.
She usually has no idea of what has gone on all afternoon.and is ...what does she call it...oh yeah, socializing.
I could not even take hubby to the chiropractor... Oh yeah..she always says to go and leave Logan here, but I'm not comfortable doing that and I don't want to tell his friends they have to leave because we are. sigh!
Listening to her drunken laugh as I type... stabs me in the heart.
Alkies are so selfish. me, me ,me!
Oh excuse moi...she doesn't drink cause she has to...it's because she wants to. 
What the fuck is the difference????? Pray tell !
I told her yesterday that I wanted to go to Walmart.... sorry but I'm not asking again. 
Eff it...don't want to take any time away from her socializing time. I'll get Tracie to take me.

   Spent some hours eating , picking up and waiting for her comapny to leave.
Got nervy and asked Jill what her plans were around 8. Staying in ....that's what she said.
Now why am I being antsy and keep looking out the front door. Tom and DD's truck was still parked there and I'm assuming she is in it talking orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr planning her get away.
You can't tell someone that will be 49 in two more days to stay home...don't drive and every other warning you would like to impart.
Her dad died on her birthday, but wasn't found until after midnight on the 11th. Another boozing day I see coming up. 
Back and forth to the livingroom I go to check if her car is there and where the truck is when I should be able to sit and do Jack Shit.
Feel like I'm hyperventillating. Getting myself worked up for sure.
Hubby's sister Ann called him to let him know someone else they knew passed away.
His mother has been living just around the corner with her sister the last few years.
Someone he worked with that lived in our town was waked today from 4-8. We didn't make it.
I made his 2 daughters wedding cakes and went to his wife and son in law's funeral many years ago.
His sis told him about the rain they had today in Stoughton.
Heard him say that it missed us. Nothing here.  Interjected and told him we had the same storm around 6:45 a.m. Oh...I was sleeping he says to her. :0) Yep, he was.
Earlier he called Michael in NH to let him know a childhood friend of his mother had died.
Michael has paid for a ? and won't be home Friday for the wake.
Was packing for the trip when his dad called him.
Last trip in to check on Jill ....I noticed Lady had peed on the rug, :0(
Cleaned as much of that out of the rug as I could. Will go over it tomorrow.
While hubby showered this morning I got on my hands and knees and scrubbed up that blueberry juice.
Damn muscles in my legs were cramping up. They are not use to being in that position.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh I hear her coming in. It's 9 p.m. She is telling Logan it's bedtime.
That does not mean she is calling it a night though. I'm wise to her ways. Even today when she left before noon she left out her bedroom door. Less I ask her where she is headed is my guess.
The Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy.  I shit you not!
There are two women in this house and no reason to have this much disorder. Once a month she might run a vac in the livingroom. Before she began drinking she was a real good homemaker. sigh!
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm her bedroom door just shut.  Need to go look to see if her car is still in the driveway. 
Going to get into night clothes and try to relax after that.

to moi!

It's Thursday..........................

She did stay in. Went right to bed .

Hubby must have taken more than one cat nap yesterday as he woke before 7.

Which in turn woke moi, but I continued to lay there hoping to fall back to sleep.

No such luck!

A funny thing happened on the way to the coffee and tea pot.

Jill made moi privy to more info on the Butchster.

His electic and phone were shut off.

Getting his boat fixed is more important than getting those bills paid.... tsk,tsk,tsk.

Called his cell phone provider and ....I don't know how that works. He authorized/paid by check ? $160 to have his cell phone turned back on.

Has no $160 in the bank. hmmmmmmmmmmmm isn't the first time he has paid a hefty sum for a bounced check.

Thankfully he did pay me the next day the $200 I handed Randy to purchase a GPS system .

She is always having me print out directions to function halls and recently said she would like a cheap one ( no frills added ) as her b day gift from him, but wasn't reminding him her b day was approaching.

This info I related to my Randy who in turn related to Butch.

This TomTom was on sale. It's not the cheapest, but not the elite model either.

Two years insurance was purchased in this price as well as a house charger.

This will be the most expensive item he has purchased in over two years for her.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm which makes me wonder...who's money will be used at the bars today as he gets his pitiful paycheck on Friday.  My guess is... it will be hers.

Just made my way to the kitchen for a java refill.

Mother got bold. I asked her if he ever paid her the $150 she paid to have a new shank put on the ruby birthstone ring he gave his mother as a teenager and in turn gave to her after they made up last time.

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I slapped my hand against the side of my head when she said that.

My first thought is...he must be damned good in bed.

She said the other day while they were with DD and Tom he said to them, doesn't that ring look great on her finger.to which she said .....especially since I had a new shank put on it so it didn't cut my finger.

Like what the Fuck. You hand your intended a ring that was cut off your dead mother's finger and expect her to wear it like that.    He did. I shit you not!

Sadly my second thought is her face is well known in the bars in our town and no one other than another drunk wants her as their wife.

I told her long ago when she started bringing DD and Tom here that misery loves company.

She was going with a fairly wealthy chronic alkie her age then and they were hangers on and came as part of the deal.  They knew him before she met him..

He spent 12 K for her engagement ring. A gorgeous Princess cut stone in a solid platinum setting .Or was that a Princess setting??? Square stone.  No gold, no white gold. All platinum.

You can see I'm up on stones and the like. NOT!

Platinum I do know though. :0)

My engagement ring has a heart shaped diamond and is set in white gold.

Too tight on my dainty fingers..... a little humor here.

These details like her paying to have that ring fixed because he cried that she wouldn't wear it.........I keep from hubby. It would only add more fuel to his dislike of him. sigh!

Although I would agree with him that Butch is a loser and I have.......... I don't want to hear it.

It gets my nerves jumping and I feel so unsettled . Whom she dates...is her business. Not mine...although when I slapped the side of my head I'm sure she caught my disenchantment with that picture of her paying for ring repairs.

Now as I think of it more.....I buy Logan's school clothes. Something is wrong with this picture.

ooooooooooooooooooR MOI !    I shit you not! Mom =enabler. Yeah, I do know!

Like who is getting the effffing?????

Figuratively speaking it is moi. Cause it sure as Hell isn't in my bedroom .

Infrequently..... it's President Clinton's sex ......I shit you not!

That's All Folks!