D D Knitted baby blanket completed on 6-28-2010

Ta Da!

Now it needs to be rinsed out before I store it away.

Was a smoker when I began this   : 0 (

Use to say, " nothing will ever own me."  

I was the worst complainer about people that smoke up until the year 1980....so what age was I ?

 Did the math ....43 ish.

Then I said God got me for being so pious.

Oh I had snuck a cigarette when i was maybe 10 ish and a neighbor that we called Aunt Rita came by the window of the room I was in and the hurt in her voice made me feel so damned guilty ...that was it.

Until I was a grown up.

Aunt Rita taught me how to bake a cake and I respected her.

Took a cigarette from ex2's package once when I was ticked off. Lit it, took a puff of the cigarette and then a swallow of Pepsi to wash down the taste left in my mouth.. Back and forth until I was dizzy and laid down on the bed until the room stopped spinning. I shit you not!

The next time I picked up a cigarette was ( my guess now and then was to assert myself that the one thing I had control over was my body) ,so I snuck one out of my mother's pack. Went out to the cabana /shed in the back yard and smoked it. This time I didn't get sick.  : 0 (

Yeah, I surprised alot of people, including my parents that both smoked and I felt like a naughty child when they found out.

Hubby use to say, " the lips that touch cigarettes will never touch mine."

We met when we both were 30 and he had just quit smoking ....cold turkey.

Was a 3 pack a day smoker. Driving a heavy oil delivery truck he only needed both hands when he shifted gears. Went to a comedy show and coughed so much when he was laughing ....he left the show so that others could enjoy it and put the smokes down right then and there.

His doctors have told him now that he would have been in alot worst shape with his lungs...if he didn't.

   So my habit got up to over 2 packs a day....sigh!

Tried the patch a few times in the 1990's when I was still working. And the gum...

Once was because I felt guilty leaving hubby's hospital bed frequently to go outside and smoke.

The next time he was hospitalzed I wasn't smoking, but had the urges and cravings .

Once home, hubby was on a tirade about something . Think it was because I gave him 2 asprin when he thought he was having a heart attack and accused me of trying to kill him. Since his brain bleeds he has been told no asprin.....but I thought in a case of life or death....sigh!

Headed right to kid#7 Jill's package and lit up.

The last time he was in the hospital the doctor gave him asprin when he was having tingling in his hand,arm and face.  His physician figured the same as I did. damned if you do and damned if you don't.

So guess I can let go of that guilt. : 0 )

Then for no reason at all after watching a commercial for Chantix in December of 2007, I thought ....if this works...why not try it.

Enjoyed my butts....they calmed my anxiety when it hit....

Had my first cateract removed in December. Asked my primary for an RX for Chantix and decided January 15th, 2008 ( my mother's birthdate and the date my sister Nancy died) was the start date.

I'm a believer!  : 0 )

P.S. I do believe the RX for Wellbutrin was an important factor in this  I still take that and had taken Paxil ( boo hoo's going through the change of life).

Have never felt the urge or craved a cigarette since.

Trust moi....I have experienced anxiety, been stressed and pissed off and angry many times over since I quit smoking.

Someone smoking right next to me doesn't bother me, nor does the fact that Jill smokes here at home.

: 0 ) Sure am enjoying the extra MAD money....I shit you not!

That's All Folks!