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 You lived here until you lived with and later married when Ryan was approximately nine years old.
You came back to live with us when you and Gil divorced when Ryan was eighteen, Gil III was 9 and Logan was a year old.   You are correct in the fact that you have lived here most of your life, but that still doesn't mean that I should leave the house to only you. I'm sorry that you are hurt by the fact that I am not. It has nothing to do against you personally.
My parents owed me nothing and that's what I got when they passed away. I loved them then and I love them now. Mike's mother passed away without enough life insurance to bury her and he and his four surviving of her nine children chipped in equally...the difference needed to pay for her burial. Gladly.
You only get one father and mother. They may not be the best parents, but they are your parents. I have no regrets in the way I honored mine...faults and all. As Nana once said...."when you live your life, THEN ...you can come back and tell me what I did wrong in mine."
I too did not have a great childhood, with an alcoholic father, BUT he always put a roof over my head and fed and clothed me and he did his best to see that we four kids had what we needed. THAT should count for something and IT DOES!
My mother chose to be married to him for 50 years. It was a very verbally abusive marriage, I can remember many bad things he said and did when he was drunk (which was often.) Many of her tears were because of the pain his words and deeds inflicted on her. I would rather have seen her with a better man and know some happiness, BUT it was her choice, NOT MINE! My dream was that it would be my dad that went first and I would then be able to take my mother places and do things for her and with her and see her happy, BUT real life doesn't work that way.
I do not condemn her for her choice. She did the best by us that she could and there are and always will be many children that have it much worst than I did...and still...they love their parents.
It isn't and wasn't , always about "me."
At some of my darkest hours in my life, I've thought about those parents that are watching their child die of some disease and their pain, those that have buried a child and think, I don't have it so bad after all. All I asked of God when I had my children was to let me live long enough to watch them grow up into adults and not only did I get that wish, but I got to see 19 grandchildren and thirteen great grandchildren. All are healthy for the most part, with the exception of my oldest, your brother jay, who now uses an oxygen tank to help him breathe because of his smoking. I worry that I will bury him before it's my time and more than likely, I will.

Jill, I am so hurt that I have lost the daughter that I once had. I thought we had the perfect mother/daughter relationship and WE DID! Can we ever get some of that back? Who knows. real life never runs smoothly , it has it's ups and downs and a lot of shit thrown in our paths as we try to make our way in this life.
While I may not like you as you are today, I will always love you.
You can continue to live here as long as you don't try to run me into the ground. be considerate of the utilities, A/C running when a window can be left open ( like last night when it was cool outside and your A/C was blaring), doors shut when the A/C is on( which isn't always the case), TV's going in every room when no one is watching them and so on. If you were paying the bills out of your own monies, I think things would be done differently in that respect.  Why am I paying for your and Gil's cigarettes?  Why am I paying for your booze?  Why don't you ask Ryan and Sarah for some small monetary amount for babysitting Gavin weekly so that you could purchase those things for yourself ...if that's what you chose to buy?  Why is it ME that has to and is expected to buy these items???
Last, but not least, why am I paying for your Keno habit?  All these withdrawals ( sometimes three in a day that total to $100 ) by you alone ( and you have nothing tangible to show for them ) can only mean that you are also gambling again. Keno is an addiction! It's gambling. You don't have to go to a casino to gamble. It's gambling just the same. 
If there is another explanation for these withdrawals, I would gladly like to hear it.
Tell me, do I have to throw away good money and see a psychologist as you have been doing, to tell me what I already know...that I am an enabler and need to stop???
I'm glad for you that you have been getting help with your issues, but...what about me?
Right........I have to be made to suffer for my past mistakes.  How foolish of me to question why. I deserve everything I am getting.

To be cont.

(((hugs)))

That's All Folks!