My love life has improved immensely. Ed has learned just what I will and WILL NOT tolerate in a man and wants to keep me in his life. :0)
The situation at home puts me on a huge guilt trip. Knowing that I have allowed some in my family to feed at the trough and not contribute as thing to their care eats away at me. I see no end to it. Others see it differently.
Daughter Jill will be unemployable for at least six months. Twenty two year old g son Gil sits around most days playing Xbox and helps her when asked to lift Gavin up into his highchair or crib for her.
The Whine Bucket also is of help to her assisting with Gavin, aiding and abetting her drinking problem...while I foot the bill for his eats at the house...and so on and on it goes.
I pay everyone to live in my house. No one contributes a cent. I'm a sick puppy and I know it!
I've even thought that ...if the house burns down...that would be the answer to my problems.
Like I said...I'm a sick puppy. I shit you not!
So...while I should be RIDING HIGH, the situation at home weighs heavily on my mind. Apparently not enough to do anything about it though. Right away I think, where could my daughter go and hit a Road Block. She's now 51 and after thirteen years of living with me with an income of less than 4k a year.....I hit a stone wall. Then I think...if it were just her, I could live with it. I did not buy into her son moving back in at age 20 with a drug problem that has robbed me plenty, nor do I want her loser boyfriend there. When I asked her what he has contributed since he came back, her answer was...he plowed the driveway. My thoughts, big efffin deal! I don't live there anymore, I just visit there occasionally and pay the bills!
Ed tells me that i am more tolerant than he is. That's much nicer to hear than ...I am a sap.
(((hugs)))
That's All Folks!
I AM WOMAN! Hear me ROAR! February 2012
WARNING !! Not for those with a short attention span. ; 0 )
I know you are being faced with a difficult decision. I know how hard it may be but sometimes we have to use tough love on our children. It is the only thing that helps them to grow. Jill is 50 years old now. When her arm heals, tell her she has to get a job and get her own place. She has to grow up. It's time. Sell the house and start living your life. You know, my friend, we are not getting any younger. If you don't want to live with Ed, you can always use the money to get your own little studio, something you can call your own and find peace of mind. Enough is enough, my friend. They are totally taking advantage of you.
ReplyDeleteMary
Well it's easy for us to sit back and say what you should do, but none of us have walked in your shoes Pat. You will do what is necessary when the time comes, don't be so hard on yourself m/f.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who was pretty much in Pat's shoes several years ago, I can honestly say that sometimes we have to use tough love on our children for their sakes as well as our own. I, too, did everything for everyone else and allowed myself to become the 'family doormat', especially by my youngest son. He lived in my home, smoked pot, didn't work or go to school and lived off me. But then someone said to me, "You are not going to live forever and what is going to happen to him when you are gone?" And that got me to thinking. I wasn't really helping him by allowing him to live off me. So, he was asked to leave. Yes, it broke my heart...and he certainly did his best to make me feel guilty, but today he has his own place, a decent job, pays his bills, and has become a man. That never would have happened had I not made the decision I did, but today I know I helped him to grow.
ReplyDeleteMary
"My motto is Life Is Too Short To Be Miserable. When the bad outweighs the good it is time to shit can em."
ReplyDeleteSound familiar? Unfortunately, that's not really how you've lived your life.....or this problem would have been resolved a long time ago. Can't change who we are...no matter how we try. Remember that when Ed acts up again. I got nothing else..no advice, nothing. I just get worried when you don't write and sad when you do.
(((((hugs))))) Pea
I really like Pea's reply that is what is needed. Surely she can get some money through assistance if she would just look. Even if welfare will help out a little until she is fit to work, all it takes on her part is some phone calls. The looser boyfriend not helping out financially is a crock of shit. What kind of man er boy does that??? Some day I wish for you a home you can call your own where only people come to visit. Ahh peace and quiet. Love ya, Pearl
ReplyDeleteand as long as your footing the bill..she'll never be forced to change her life..
ReplyDelete