Maybe even toooooo good!
How can it not be ...when someone loves you with all his heart and soul.
Dozens of times during the day he comes to me and kisses me passionately. Dozens of times during the day, he tells me he loves me and what I add to his life.
Every night there is better of an hour of pleasuring each other. Same when we wake in the morning.
Ahhhhhhhhh yes....The Honeymoon Stage. Viva the Honeymoon Stage! I shit you not!
SO....why do I sit here thinking that at any moment my bubble will burst?????
Maybe I'm looking for problems. Could be. Could beeeeeeeeee. While he isn't Mr.Perfect, he does his damndest to make me happy in every way.
It's 8:19 a.m. as I write this and I still have a glowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww on.
SO...am I bragging or complaining, you ask......neither. Something...I know not what...is missing. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I love him, but I'm not in love with him. Maybe...in time.
It's NOT so good!
Almost 5 p.m. Had to go home as my hairdresser is having rotator cuff surgery tomorrow and today was the last day she could do my hair for another 6 weeks. Also. Jill's car needs WORK and it goes in for repairs Thursday, so I left my 2012 Toyota with 8500 miles on it for her to use for grocery shopping and to get to work if she has a catering job this weekend. She has been told to lock my car keys in the safe if she isn't using it. Gil BEST NOT take off with my car after she goes to bed.
I was only too happy to leave my house. My son RANDY hit me up for money and I'm not talking pennies. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
When will it end. I did manage to say that he better start to think of me as dead and learn to live within his budget. While I realize that social security disability isn't enough to live on, I can't continue to hand out money either. Yeah,yeah....we all know that I will continue to hand him and my other needy kids money and will continue to bitch about it. I'm an enabler and I haven't forgot it.
Some days I don't like myself.
Oh, my son did say that he dreaded and hated to have to ask me for any money. I don't doubt him that it did hurt to have to ask, BUT!
Oh by the way...that GLOwwwwwwwwwww left me somewhere between Ed's house and my house. I shit you not!
Something is wrong...very wrong, when I can't stand to be HOME. .
I'll go back there when Jill's car is fixed and get my car and then SOON will be too soon for me to go back there. I shit you not!
And...why the Hell can't I upload my pictures now! Like WTF is happening with Blogger????. I need this like I need a hole in my head. Already have one in my wallet.
(((hugs)))
That's All Folks!
I AM WOMAN! Hear me ROAR! February 2012
WARNING !! Not for those with a short attention span. ; 0 )
Your a wise lady Pat, you already have your answers. You have gotten away from the crazy house and now you know what it is like getting far from it. Best thing that ever happened to you and your kids. Yes your son does need to learn but through necessity he will. Isn't it nice to have grown kids learning to become independent, its one of the best lessons we will ever teach them. When you did not have Ed and before your husband died, I felt compassion for you, but the negativity and crazy round and round stuff use to make me depressed to visit you blog after awhile. But you have overcome so much in such a short amount of time it's really amazing to hear your life now. And you took the bull by the horn and made it happen! Your a survivor that's for sure, your one hell of a lady my friend. I love to hear your happy now, and still learning more and more. What journey this life is? And soon after 28 years of marriage my journey begins again and I'm excited and frightened but here I go! Hugs, Pearl
ReplyDeleteToo much has happened in your home, and I wonder if you can ever find happiness there again. Jill and all her drama, Gil with his drug addiction, alcohol, gambling, drugs. That's too much. You are entitled to peace and some joy in your life. Take it and run....And, you did your job as a mom. As long as you keep giving, they will keep asking. You are on a budget now. Think of what you need. Buy yourself the things you've always longed for but never have. Let your children learn to stand on their own two feet.
ReplyDeleteMary
I think if Ed loves you more now that's okay. Just wait and see what happens. You certainly don't need to decide the rest of your life right now. Just enjoy it for now.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy for you that Ed's working out, so far. You're right to take your time. Just let in unfold as it will. It's not like you're looking for a husband... right?
ReplyDeleteAnd I didn't learn to manage living on my disability check until after my parents both died. It's hard to not use the credit card; it's impossible not to when there are unexpected emergency expenses, like car repairs. Mine jumped from the $1000 I swore to not go over ever again to $1900 due to the damned car. And life goes on. You don't know how little you can live on until it's what you HAVE to do.
It's awesome to be loved but if you feel something is 'off' then you just need to continue seeing him until you know for sure one way or the other. Kisses.
ReplyDeleteI just think you're bloody wonderful.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Foxy
ReplyDelete