I'm so afraid.
Afraid of what my finances to live on will be.
Need to fill out some paperwork and don't know the first place to start.
Afraid that my life is over for all intents and purposes.
Afraid of what the future holds for me.
Afraid...afraid...afraid.....
Have a big ache inside me that I can't shake. Tears come to my eyes when I even THINK.
I want to beat the shit out of him for dying on me. I shit you not!
That's All Folks!
I AM WOMAN! Hear me ROAR! February 2012
WARNING !! Not for those with a short attention span. ; 0 )
My friend, the first thing you have to do is step back and take a deep breath. We are all afraid of the future. I know I am. I'm afraid of what finances I will live on and regret frittering so much away throughout the years. These are normal fears. Your life is far from over, my friend. You are loved by many and we are all here for you. Is there someone who can help you with the papers? Someone you can trust? (((Hugs)))
ReplyDeleteMary
By the way, according to Elizabeth Kubler Ross, there are five stages of grief...Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. You're in the anger stage. You might think about getting hold one of her books. Any one of them is very healing.
ReplyDeleteMary
It's going to be all right. Give yourself some time to get adjusted to your husband not being there. Talk to someone that you trust that will help you figure out your finances and go from there.
ReplyDeleteThis is a huge thing that has happened and it's all still so new. Talking about it always helps so keep talking.
ReplyDeleteYou will be alright and things WILL get better in time.
Lots of love from me.
I'd say start with Social Security... they will walk you through it, it's pretty painless actually. Set up an appointment so you don't have to wait around.
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine's sister is also going through this, unexpectedly... she says she puts on her warrior hat when she has to do something she feels she doesn't have the strength for.
Maybe you should get a tiara. They sell them at Walmart for $10. Wear it to the SS office... it will make everyone smile. :)
The ache and tears will lessen in time. Finances? You must start charging rent, at least enough to cover the utilities. Call social security. There is usually a $100-$200 payout. If you aren't already drawing s.s. on your husbands, assuming he made more than you did (if you worked) then see about drawing on his salary. You will need several copies of his death certificate. Insurance? Stocks and bonds? Savings accts? ABSOLUTELY NO MORE MONEY TO YOUR KIDS OR GRANDKIDS. Time to think of yourself and your own finances and life.
ReplyDeletegreat advise above, can't add more...sending you love and strength ♥♥
ReplyDeleteNothing to add to the excellent advice you've already received.
ReplyDeleteI will add hugs, though.
(((hugs)))
Please consider calling your Hospice office and ask if they can refer you to bereavement services. If they don't have them or if you don't have a local hospice, try a local church. Everything you are feeling is TOTALLY NORMAL. It's all part of grief but it can be overwhelming especially with no support. Please get yourself some support.
ReplyDeleteScream and cry all you want and need to. Get ahold of your son who let you stay with him for a week and talk to him about all this. You have got to talk with someone! Love you Pat! your gonna make it I just know it. Hugs, Pearl
ReplyDeleteJust checking in on you. All of the above is great advice. You are stronger than you know. Please reach out and seek help it is there. Punching pillows helps.Big(elephant:)) HUGZ from Alabama!PS This to shall pass..
ReplyDeleteditto to what everyone else said..and find a good lawyer to help with finances.
ReplyDelete