D D It's NOT BEEN a good two days for me. I shit you not!

It's taking all my reserve to see and hear him suffering.
Last night whomever I spoke to on the phone told me he refused his pain med. Now how can that be????? His pain med is PRN. THAT MEANS...he has to ask for it.  He begs for it and doesn't get it!!! He waited over two hours for something for nausea yesterday. I WAS WITNESS TO THAT! Then again today he begged to get out of the wheelchair they had him in and get into bed...oh no no no...Can't do that. You need to stay up. They had him in a wheelchair WITHOUT a belt. I told them they were making a BIG MISTAKE as he has fallen out of his own.  At least they had a pillow under his boney ass yesterday. TODAY he had NOTHING and was complaining that his ass was killing him. One hour of listening to that and I went down to my car to get his air cushion. Came back up to his room and he was about to slide onto the floor. WITH THAT I yelled loud and clear, "I should have waited 10 more minutes and you would have been on the floor. Three people came running and got him into bed. Immediately he fell asleep. Now mind you...I got there at 10 a.m. and AGAIN he was complaining of nausea. It was 1pm. before he was given Zantac. Once again his doctor does not want to give him what he had been taking for nausea as it makes or could make you sleepy. I never saw him fall asleep after he took it, but....I'll take their word for it.  I spoke to his doctor about a Foley being inserted AGAIN and again was given the cons....his condom cath came off three times yesterday...which meant being tormented again. One bitchy nurse was quick to say that he takes it off...it doesn't fall off. I questioned him about it and he told me he does it in his sleep as he has burning and itching down there. Complained of it after he ate a few bites of lunch....I know where they keep it, but did the right thing and asked someone to apply it. Bitchy nurse said she put the anti fungal powder on him after she washed him up around nine after he pulled it off and urinated himself and the bed. I looked at her and said..." there's a limit on how often he can have this applied?" Oh yeah, she says...twice a day. I told her I had that at home...he had been given it during and after another hospitalization there and it had NO LIMIT written on it. I went to the social workers office and told her to have him put in a rest home...the sooner the better, so that he could die faster. He's fucking miserable.... they ...having to do their stuff to him makes him more miserable...so let's speed his dimise up. Like yesterday, I  again told her that our dogs were treated better and today I used the word FUCK!
He barely eats...doesn't want to watch tv and doesn't want to read the newspaper.  I told her if he comes home...I will not make him sit in a chair. If he wants to sleep...he will sleep.
This fucking thirty mile one way drive...is taking it's toll on me. So is listening to his pleading for them to not hurt him. His doctor did tell me yesterday that after viewing his head scan (old brain bleeds)....he has dementia and he is unable to control his inhibitions,ie; my daughter thing. He told me his father used to pull his penis out of his pants and play with it in public. So....that did clear up things in my head somewhat. Just days ago he told me he(doctor) had cut his Gabapentin down from 600 to 300 3xs a day. Yesterday I told him about how a year ago they took everything away and how he had withdrawlas and I was told no no no. Can't be!Told him I looked on the computer and yes yes yes. CAN and WILL! Get this! Today he tells me...he only cut his Gabapentin down to 500 ....cause he was to be weened off slowly. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... was it something I SAID! Why the change in his story?
SO! Supposedly he has too much Gabapentin and Oxycodone in his system and once they get the level down....he will be more alert and stay awake more. Personally...I DON'T THINK SO. I shit you not! 
Bitchy nurse made sure before I left to talk down to me about not gowning and gloving up. You who...the three employees that rushed to save him from falling out of his wheelchair...didn't either. Besides....they don't become me. ;0)
Another Monday night has passed that I pass out watching The Bachelorette and miss the show. One minute I'm awake...the next...lights out.

(((hugs)))

That's All Folks!