D D Pains in my legs and the two big pains in my ass

Sunday.....Effing leg cramps wake me whether I'm napping or in bed for the night.  Not once, not twice, not even three times...MORE than that! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I take Vitimin D3, Zinc30....what the Hell else do I need????????????? 
Maybe I should be smart......and call my doctor, but no, I'll just continue to suffer as I have been. 
Seems like I like to punish myself....yeah, ,that's it....I'm a glutton for punishment! 
The times between cramps when I'm napping... someone or something ,ALWAYS wakes me up. Phone and grandson Gil cooking and moving pots and pans around today to make himself an omelet at 4p.m. did it to me today. No rest....for the weary.
I've been in a funk today. Couldn't get out of my own way and don't know what to do with myself.
No No NO  Make THAT, I'm as ugly as a bear and want to chew everyone's head off! I shit you not!
Jill's been at a bar since noon. The PIG PEN remains a PIG PEN!
I can hardly wait til the baby starts crawling. THIS is going to either wake her up orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr the baby is going to choke on something that shouldn't be on the floors and IS.
I've done a few loads of laundry, but who the eff notices that!
Hubby asked me if I wanted to go eat at the Outback around one p.m. :0) No one was here to help me get him out of the house :0( , so I warmed up sweet Italian sausages and peppers and onions and made us a sub of that. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 
Friday Jill told me that Butchie's landlord called him ....reminding him it was the first of the month and he wanted HIS $1,500 no later than MONDAY. ( Months rent) He's telling her to ask me for a loan and she is saying back to him, no,no,no, NO,NO! So Saturday he remembers that the backs of my counters have never been tiled ;0) (for the umpteenth time )and measured and  this time took me ( in my car) to Home Depot to pick out what I'd like him to put up there.  Looks like he wants to earn a few bucks, but I am sure the HELL, not paying him that much for his labor. I shit you not! He didn't mention LABOR and neither did I! LOAN...FORGET IT! I have too many people sucking at my tit as it is!
He did buy me four tomato plants while we were there ;0). ( $20 ) Was THAT to soften me up???

Last night I dressed up in a sheath dress ( peacock print)  and nylons, black shoes with a little heel and hit the VFW. Had one drink and one diet coke in the two and a half hours I was there. Jill came in from working her catering job around 9:50 and she, daughter Michelle and another worker planned on hooking up at the Moose ...and did.  I went home. Mr.Legs came for karaoke with his girlfriend. I made sure he got a good view of my legs all the while I was there. Once home, I thought to myself..... he has something going for him and I am married.Just what can these lead to? I truly don't think I could leave the hubby so why fuck up what he has going for him!  It's just not me. I shit you not! Yeah, I'll play Cribbage with him ,if he asks, but I don't plan to intentionally lead him on.   And yeah...in the back of my mind I do remember hearing him say that he has had a few girlfriends.....  which could mean things didn't work out with them so they parted ways, BUT he HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW!. Do I sound convincing?  If the circumstances are right....who knows. A harmless caress, a kiss.  I could live with my concience if it was JUST THAT.
Okay...who the hell am I kidding, I could live with myself if I screwed him when I am at my lowest. sighhhhhhhhhhhhh  Will he....RESPECT ME after.... ,SEE this is how my mind works.  I have a fucking concience. GET LOST!!!
Jill called me from there around 1p.m. and told me he was there. I stayed in my pjs and left well enough alone. TODAY!

She just called me to tell me some guy in there was just excavating some place and killed one feral kitten and there is a second. Oh my! Hinted  to moi....if I would take it and I didn't make waves. She's like, it can keep Charlie company outdoors and I'm more to thinking that if damned Cash wouldn't torment it, I'd like a house cat. It's estimated to be about 5 weeks old. Once upon a time I have had 3 cats at a time.  Why not! There is always room at THIS INN for an animal. ;0)
I can see it now ...staring up at the flying squirrel at night and making a leap for the cage.
  :0(  CRASH

I pushed shit around on my bureau today and still.... it isn't neat. Cleaned some jewelry. BIG WHOOP! I'm such a BIG DEAL. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 

Haven't seen the whites of Jill's eyes since noon and it's going on 9p.m.

I feel so EMPTY. Maybe, I'll see things in a different light tomorrow. Til then...(((hugs)))

Monday June 4th
Talked to my best friend Nancy in AK for ( must have been a good two hours ) last night. :0) I miss those days when we lived a block away or next door to each other ( which was even better :0).

Between 9:30 and ten, Gil went to get his mother from the bar. She was PLASTERED! Hadn't eaten and asked him to make her something, he said. He cooked up good ole Kraft mac and cheese and brought it to her. One bite and she asked for the puke pail. I didn't lay eyes on her, nor did I want to. Later ( before we turned in ) hubby told me that I should go check on her and see if she was okay. FUCK THAT!  I wish, I wish... a huge efffin hangover on her today. You can take that to the bank with you. I shit you not!
No kitten....don't know the story YET on that. I was worried more about the kitten....than her.  She's a big girl.
Woke at 5a.m. No cramps last night. Could the secret be........... I made sure I had enough room to lay on my side with my knees drawn up and used one of those body pillows to put between my legs and arms. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, if it was ONLY THAT EASY!  I'll grab a nap like that maybe today and test it out. ;0) Lots to do today. Made myself a list ( dry cleaners, grocery store, two places to make exchanges,jewelry store to have a link taken out of my watch and 3 teeny, tiny gold chains with pendants on them untangled (if they can do that),  another Hallmark store that just might have the postcards I need for yellowdoggranny's Rest Home party, and tanning. Maybe I'll be out of my funk by one and go to the VFW for an hour. Could add the nursery to that list, but I won't. Damned Cash grabbed my plants from under the patio table and emptied them. He loves flower pots. And yes....I was stupid enough to think that if (said pots )had a plant and soil in them, he wouldn't touch them. I was like a lunatic out back chasing him for my pots and trying to scoop up the lost soil with my hands and rescue the plants my grandson Danny gave me Mothers Day. sighhhhhhh I said a few expletitives out there! Glad it's been raining and my VERY NICE , FOREVER neighbors have their windows shut. ;0)
Speaking of  r a i n, more to come for the next three days at the very least. Wednesday I have to drive hubby into West Roxbury to the Spinal Cord Clinic for 8 a.m.  Driving in the rain and I....don't mix well. If push comes to shove, I will babysit and ask Jill to drive him . It's a long day there though.
Think I'll go and brush up on my Cribbage in Pogo some more. ;0) I'll be back. Doing very good, but I must add...the damned game adds up your hands for you. Now what good is that???  When someone misses their count and you get those points...that's fun. :0: When you miss the count...it's not so much fun. ;0(

Forgot to mention that I ordered the Garrison cap to COMPLETE the AirForce uniform last night.  Yeah...I'm pleased with myself.  Someone may find this morbid, ( picking out burial clothes for yourself and hubby ). I have my negligee in a box with fake wedding rings  READY TO GO! Tried it on the other night), I LIKE!Too bad that I won't be able to see myself............... GO ON...say it!
Tell me I am Daffy. ;0)  I can count on you Pea .....I know I can count on you to tell me that!  Thinking of you today as you go into surgery. Prayers being sent out to you my friend.

Butchie came through the front door at 7:10. His shift doesn't end until 8 a.m. He's RIP SHIT at her! Keeps calling her a fucking alcoholic. He's fucking working and she is out getting shit faced , he is saying. Saying THAT and more. I can't blame him. I did say to him as he passed me by at the sink, "please marry her and move her into your place."
He asked for coffee and she refused to make it. Heard the front door shut after they gave each other a few more choice words. Does THIS MEAN that I won't get my kitchen wall tiles done???? :0(
He'll be back...of that I have no fear.
He's back. Didn't leave the driveway.  This time when he asked again for coffee she told him there was no milk. There was barely enough for her morning first cup of tea. NOW...I could have been nice yesterday and went and bought some....BUT why the fuck should I?  She was dressed and OUT. I was still in pj's and am still in the same ones.    PU, I stink.;0)  Heard him tell you he had been up all night...worrying about her and helping people that were actually sick. I give a big Thank You to our firemen who make house calls when you are sick and do not just go to fires as I once thought in my juvenile brain ...was the case. They save many a life!
Hubby woke shortly after 7 a.m. He was in pain and asking for a pain pill. Gave him his all his 8a.m. pills. An hour early on his meds makes no difference. Could have given him just the pain med., but once opening the safe was better than twice. There is a mood to my madness. I shit you not!

Keep looking at the clock and wishing the time would go faster. Stores don't open too early around here. sighhhhhhhhhhh

There is/was WAY TOO MUCH DRAMA to my liking minutes ago. Jill got sick.VERY SICK. Fell to the floor. Eyes rolling in the back of her head, I was told. Butchie took her B/P. Said it was 210/110.  Now he's an EMT so I expect he would know how to take and read a B/P. She managed to say NO AMBULANCE though and between Gil and Butchie, they got her up and out to the car. She had a 10:15 a.m. appointment this morning... She will be EARLY!
Within seconds...Gil wanted to call Ryan and let him know what's happening. He was trying to put his reasons for this on me and I was trying to reason with him that WE KNOW NOTHING YET. Why alarm him! IF she is sent to the ER from her physicians...then call Ryan. Between all this hysteria, the effin dog kept taking the baby's toys and running out the back door with them. He seems to sense the DRAMA and is being BADDER than he usually is. sighhhhhhhhhhhhh
Made hubby an English muffin with a fried egg, low fat ham and cheese on it. One bite and he screamed out...you loaded this with salt. I did not, nor would I EVER add salt to his food. Arsenic...maybe. ;0) Now that's Funny ...as Larry the Cable Guy says. Told him it was HIS FUCKING TASTE BUDS and threw it away !!!
THIS is not the morning that I planned! I shit you not!   I pace...I come back to my PC. sighhhhhh 

Three hours later and she is home. She laid on a table at the doctors office waiting for her B/P to come down. Butchie came to the house to get her meds and bring them to the doctors office.
It SEEMS....no food yesterday, no medications and all THAT BOOZE didn't go well for her today.
These upsets and drama isn't helping myself either.
When things are calmer, I want to say a few things to her. One is... if you plan on contuing on as you have you need to move so that I don't have to watch you kill yourself. 
At twelve thirty I began running my errands. First stop was the grocery store and back home to feed hubby and give him his meds.. Then I took off again.  Home again at three, but I didn't get to do all I wanted to do. DID suntan. :0)

Going to try and get a short nap in. IF I'm LUCKY.
(((hugs)))

That's All Folks!