D D Restless in Massachusetts

Woke in pain and having to pee right around 1 a.m. Laid there trying to fall back to sleep.and this finds me still awake. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
When I got back into bed ( one small space at the edge ) , hubby had one of his hands under my back and moaned that I was hurting his hand. HUH???? Good thing that I felt like I had slept all night cause there was no way I was falling back to sleep. Did I conk out at 9 p.m. ? Mabe even eight? One minute I was watching Life In The ER and WHAMMO!  Headed straight for the Keurig and here I sit at my laptop which I managed to find room for in front of the Apple ( whatever it's called.) The White Elephant is more like it to me. :0(  I don't feel like wasting any of my precious time learning this system and it will become Logan's and in his bedroom ASAP.
He has decided ( on that note ) the keyboard is not so bad afterall. :0)

Will probably feel like shit later today. I shit you not!

Was happy to see the last of my family leave last night. I'm sitting here listening to just the sound of the squirrel on his wheel , happily spinning around. When he stops running .....SILENCE.
 SILENCE can BE GOOD!

Heavily on my mind is what young Gil will eventually do. Succumb to his dad and go before a judge and deny what he saw at age nine orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
That SOB knew when he went to law school that in order to take the bar exam he needed his felony record expunged ( just like I did ) and he had it all figured out. Will my son deny me the opportunity to become a criminal attorney with me having spent these past 3 1/2 years working towards.   I THINK NOT!     At age 9 when his mother was screaming out when she could get a breath of air " Call 911 " and his father was screaming " Don't you dare. Get in the fucking truck."  He did what dad said. he didn't witness his dad holding his screaming baby brother Logan over his mother lying on the kitchen floor after he wrested Logan away from her and let him puke all over her , laughing as he kept kicking her.
He told exactly what he saw to the District Attorneys office. Then at trial two years later dad and his criminal defense attorney were priming and coaxing him for the trial to change his story. After a gut wrenching time of three, four, five???? delays in the start of the trial and poor Gil emotionally distraught every time he got served a subpeona to testify for HIS FATHER....the second day of the trial when it was getting to the time that young Gil would have to take the stand, his attorney FINALLY took that SOB outside of the courtroom and told him he would be making a big mistake. Judges do not like to see kids on the stand testifying against another parent.
OMG ...when he came back into the courtroom his face was so RED and he was shaking his head and looking for all the world, PISSED OFF AS ALL HELL and took the plea that had been offered to him DAY ONE. He told the judge, his attorney made him take the plea. With that the judge went over everything again with him and he decided it was HIS DECISION. RELUCTANTLY, I might add. His body was shaking with RAGE.
Jill had World WAR One and Two before this trial and it then became WORLD WAR THREE and it hasn't ended even though she had wavered more than 20K in past due child support and has not taken him back to court for non support in at least 5 years. Occasionally she does get a small amount sent to her from his wife Julie. How that is justified I know not of. Showing Attempt to pay?????  She/Julie gets child support for her nine year old son and takes her ex back into court when needed. GO FIGURE!
NOW young Gil is twenty one. While his mother will not suffer any penalty if he says he lied about what his father did to his mother or HE DID NOT SEE IT HAPPEN ( was not in the room witnessing him strangling her ) what will she feel like??? At nine you can understand that your child is A CHILD. At TWENTY ONE ??????? 
Will it just be ME that feels pain at seeing my daughter's pain being re-visited?
I'm sorry, but I will not be able to look at my grandson in the same light if he does.

Hubby woke seconds before three when the alarm clock went off to use his potty.  Had severe stomach pain. Took a dump and threw the wipes in the bucket. While those say FLUSHABLE ...I sometimes wonder if that is what causes our toilet to plug up. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  Wasn't about to pick them out of that bucket. I shit you not!
Still was complaining of having severe stomach pain as he got back into bed. Then he wanted the space heater on... he's fucking freezing, he said. . I'm sitting here without a robe on...the temp reads 80 in this room and he says, " I don't give a fuck, Turn the heater on." sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 
Now I just heard out of his mouth, " What...no coffee!" Which gave me cause to remind him it was 3:30 a.m.  So much for.........my peace and quiet. I shit you not!\
No sooner does he tell me that I can turn off the overhead light than he wants me to look at his baby finger. He had put some Balmex on it and I could see it was shiny red ( like an infection maybe.) Got him the Cortizone 10 and I put it on as he was having trouble seeing where I dabbed the cream. The he decided when I offered that he would have ONE CUP of coffee and then go back to sleep. By the time I perked HIS COFFEE and came back into the room, he was asleep. sighhhhhhhhhh Woke him ;0)  It's minutes before 4 a.m. and I can hear his cookie wrapper as he takes a cookie out of a sleeve..behind where I'm sitting in the high back computer chair. I may not be able to see behind my back....BUT I CAN HEAR BEHIND MY BACK! ;0)
   The rest of the house is sleeping . Jill let Lady and Cash out around 1 a.m. Gil used the bathroom close to two a.m. and when I went to my Kuerig I could hear Butch and Jill talking.
She seemed happy when I first saw her after she got THE RING. SO DID HE! Yesterday they both seemed happy . He brought Alex here for her gifts. She had gifts from Santa at his place and here.
I think she liked her overhead projector that Santa gave her. Santa must get alot of requests for an overhead projector from eight year olds. ;0) Clothes from a certain girl's clothing store ( I forget the name of ) he asked Jill to buy ( his money ) while he was working Christmas Eve day. Last minute shopping !
$35 for a little white shrug. The skirt and top ??? Sequins and flounce and adorable and, and, and  Pricey! I shit you not! To die for. I want to be a little kid again ! sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
When I inquired as to why jill accepted the ring that he promised he wouldn't give her....she told me there were many stipulations that went with accepting it and she knows his promises won't last long. WHAT EVER!
Yesterday he was pissed off at his drunken roommate and was saying to me and anyone within hearing distance that he wanted him OUT. Moi reminded him that he helped to pay their rent . Yeah, but I'm going to work as many side jobs and do whatever it takes to pay the rent and utilities on my own., he said.  
BIG WORDS. ;0)  I WISH HIM LUCK! I shit you not!
When he cutely mentioned to me that they were staying IN all day, I was just as cute in reminding him that I haven't lived these past 74 years without aquiring the knowledge that THE BARS ARE CLOSED Christmas Day. ;0)

Hubby rose to pee again. It's now 4:15 a.m. His pisser is working! Earlier he thought his stomach pain was due to the fact that he needed to be catherized. NOT!  I could do it, but doing it when it is un-necessary will quite likely cause a UTI and he doesn't NEED THEM. While a hospital stay would give me some what of a break..... it will set him back and neither of us need that.
He can continue to think I am neglecting him.....and complain to the visiting nurse orrrrrrrrrrrr whomever. She/they understand . When asked if he is able to VOID on his own...he doesn't know that word. Asked if he is able to PEE on his own, he tells them he can. Bingo...no need to catheritize him.  I empty his commode and urinal enough to TESTIFY TO THAT. I shit you not!
   Awhile earlier I reached up high into a bathroom cupboard for  tissues for him with my right arm. Holy Shit...the pain.  So much for those cortizone injections...this time. :0(   Better than ten years back they were  the answer to my prayers. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Four thirty seven a.m. As I stretch my neck around ( ouchie ) to look at hubby...his eyes are closed.When I rise to shut the overhead light off now....lets see if he stays asleep. I hear light snoring. He never was a loud snorer. That's a PLUS! 
 Will make a third cup of java for myself while I am up. :0(

My son Larry was in a mood when he and Sombay came Christmas Eve. Negative,Negative. As his eyes fell on the two beds in the parlor. ( it's a bunk bed. ) Now two single beds. I found myself defending myself.   Logan's bed and sometimes Gil stays and he sleeps in the other one. He tells me that none of them should be here. Maybe so, BUT it's my choice! He went on some more about it. My Toyota...well I should have asked him what to buy. His son Larry,Jr just bought a Hundai, 35 miles to the gallon and it beats a Toyota all to shit.  So much for congratulations on your new car purchase mom. Poor Sombay was trying to soften the blow from his stinging  words....with... lifes too short ;0)  Bless her little pea picken heart. How she lives with him is beyond me. I shit you not!
He may be a non smoker/non drinker and good provider, BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That ain't everything. I shit you not!
Thankfully ...I don't see him often, even though he only lives approx 7 miles away.
Sombay is ALL ABOUT FAMILY. He..not so much , although he is heavily involved with his son and is always helping him improve his house and property. Plus they four wheel together and go out salt water fishing on his big boat and all kinds of other recreational stuff.
A few years ago ( I'm sure at Sombays urging ) they would take their grandson Ryu to eat Chinese food here in town once a week and pick me up. Listening to his negativity , I don't miss it although I loved being included.
What I NOTICE makes him BEAM with pride and joy is Ryu and Krista , Sombays youngest son Noels two and four year old children and sometimes his son Larry's five year old Jessica. :0)
That and his love for and OF animals in my mind softens his hard edges.

Five ten...I never got up to make cup #3 and I'm keeping my poor squirrel asleep. Night time/darkness is when he plays.
Heard a car door,,,made my way to shut the overhead light off, checked to see if our cars were in the driveway ;0) , peed and made another cup of coffee. Heard hubby's voice and ran back. "Keep me warm, Come back to bed." Told him I had just made a cup of coffee to which he muttered "that's more important." No sooner were the words from my lips "no it's not"
 spoken , he dropped right back to sleep. sighhhhhhhhhhhhh
    Hear the A/C running in Jill's room each time I go to that end of the house and GIL has a floor fan pointed towards his bed. Each and EVERY NIGHT.  I myself, can't escape this life sucking heat. :0(  

Things are coming to the front of my mind....like when I asked Jill why she accepted the ring after saying she wouldn't. Didn't want him wrapping himself around a telephone pole as he threatened to. He was up and down on his knee in front of the limo driver on the pier by the Anchor every time I said NO. There are a hundred stipulations attached to my accepting the ring and I know he will Fuck Up.   He always does.  She herself admits she has been SINGLE too long. Is set in HER WAYS!  I'll be truthful here, he has gotten far less from this relationship than she has. I don't mean in monetary ways, either. He has suffered mental abuse and THEN SOME.
If ONLY his choice of recreation wasn't A BAR .....sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Who rushed to her side with ear stuff  and administered flushing out her ears when they were plugged up the other day. Not once, BUT THREE TIMES. Who cared for her day and night and stayed by her side in the hospital when her nose wouldn't stop bleeding.
He does love her....he isn't good for her... and she definately isn't good for him or TO HIM.
Do I have to keep on that boy/mans ass every time he messes up? Will ....I shit you not! Like it or lump it!  If I see it or hear of it.... I'm speaking my mind. Same goes for HER!  I want off this ROLLER COASTER ride.  WAKE UP and smell the coffee!
This isn't a One Way Street!

6:03 Butch got up to use the bathroom and Cash and Lady needed another piss call. I hear others stirring. Gil is in quite a bit of pain with that tooth that will come out Tuesday.
I let my son Larry know that I will be paying for that and did for his molars. He attended the EX SIL's Graduating Law School party and I'm sure he was filled in on that before I told him. He was on other stuff. He was a BUD before and since the divorce, but I never hear him talk well of the EX SIL FROM HELL. At least to me he doesn't !  They both....USE EACH OTHER!  Both are bitter about having to pay child support , although my sons obligation to his son ended in 1991 when his only child turned eighteen.
Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn   

Hubby woke and requested that the space heater be turned back on a half hour ago. Promptly fell back to sleep and I didn't get up to do it. . ;0) 

Snapped a few pictures of the baby yesterday and Randy finally downloaded ( if I can find out where ) the pictures he took when I bought my car.

I hadn't even brushed my hair and didn't realize it was my camera my grandson Ryan was using to take this and a few more pictures. ;0)  Nana still in her night clothes; missing my winter cap. He's the sly one.

and my personal favorite, Uncle Logan holding Gavin

It felt soooooooooooooooooooooo good to hold a baby again. :0)

Daylight is making its appearance. Everyone, EXCEPT FOR  hubby is awake. Cash and Lady keep coming into our bedroom,  checking to see if it's Cookie Time. ;0)  Ginger isn't stirring. She will sleep until she hears the cookie sleeve crinkling sound.  Her mama didn't raise no fool. ;0)

Tis Monday...the day after Christmas and all is well.  Just another day in MY FUNNY FARM.
Seeing everyone happy with their gifts was a gift to me. Think I only have one thing to return. Logan's dress shoes were too narrow to get his feet into. He loved, loved loved the dress shirt and tie.
He's one that always loved getting clothes no matter what time of the year it was. :0)
Hubby got his hand picked assorted chocolates from moi and I have his CASH and the CHECK BOOK.
I'm a HAPPY CAMPER, I shit you not! ;0)

7:10 a.m. Hubby is up to pee and the dogs are Happy Campers. ;0)  He peed, rose to get back in bed and had to sit back down and peed again. Old age is not being kind to either of us. :0( 
He's requesting...coffee and THE SPACE HEATER TURNED ON and HE is out of his cookies, so I will grab a box n  my way back from making him coffee and reluctanly turn that heater on. . . 
It's also med time.
Butch has left to work his twenty four hour shift at the fire station.

AND for moi... It's 8 a.m.. Ohhhhh my efffin sciatic nerve and another day to live " THE DANCE "

That's All Folks!