D D My hubby is laughing in his grave at me! I shit you not!

If I told you the kind of shit I've been doing....you wouldn't believe it , cause I still can't believe it myself.
I signed up on a dating site. NO SHIT!!!  Who woulda thunk it! Out of my mind you say. You may be right as rain. I shit you not!
SO...let me tell you about my date tonight.  We met at the 99 in my town. He lives the next town over.
OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He looks like he is ready for the grave and will be 75 this November 8th. My husband looked better in his casket!  I shit you not!  Hard of hearing ( I had to lean over half the table to hear him , which had my boobs almost into the potato skins and sour cream LMAO) , he had open heart surgery (quad bi pass ) Had a heart attack in a pool (no shit! ) his voice is all raspy, and,and,and. Lower teeth kept popping up....OMG,OMG,OMG. Soooooooo, he asks me if I'd like a drink and I asked him if he was having anything. The answer was no. So I had my usual diet soda and he ordered ice tea. The waitress asks us if we are ready to order and he says, I will have some potato skins.  She asked if he wanted the free popcorn and he did.  So we chat.....he nearly chokes to death on almost every bite of his potato skins.....damn...it's been too many years since I took CPR.  OMG! OMG1 OMG! I discreetly turned my eyes away from the scene in front of me to avoid the drool coming from the side of his mouth. Again the waitress wants to take our order and he looks at me and asks if I am hungry. From the tone he used and the look in his face I knew he wasn't. SO...me being nice says ,"are you?' He said no and I said "me neither." I could see the look of relief on his face. ;0) You should have seen the people waiting for seats when we walked out the door at 6:05 p.m. I'm hoping the lady that waited on us had a better night. :0)
He wants to take me to Castle Island to walk around where as I've never been there. It's a quiet place he says. UT UH.....I don't think so.  But of course...I wasn't rude.There will be no day that I can clear my calender. I shit you not!  His profile said he exercises many times a week. YEAH...in the fucking pool where he lives. Those 2 well educated sons he named...one he has supported for the past 5 years so that he could keep his house as he lost his job. He told me his car needs repairs, but he can't afford it after helping his son out. He goes to the Kennedy Library...to walk around. It's quiet there, he says. Asked me if I'd ever been. That...would be a NO. Before we parted, I remarked that his profile said that he was looking for an educated woman...( it was he that sought me out )??? which baffled me. My profile says I got my GED.... To tell you the truth he says with a twinkle in his eyes, I didn't finish college.  He's looking me up and down at my car saying, "nine kids, huh. Wow!"
I'm repeating myself here, BUT...his profile said that he exercized 5 times a week. Football,swimming,hockey were his exercize. HUH!  I'll give him the "swimming", but the other two...in his DREAMS or YOUTH!
NOW....if you all know anything about me....it's the fact that I don't like to hurt peoples feelings. That's just who I am.  I figured a night out of the house, conversation ....what can it hurt...I'm lonely too...what the hell!
One hour later I am in my car driving home ( YES ALONE ;0) ) and yelling at my hubby to stop laughing his ass off at me. I SWEAR I COULD HEAR HIM...he wished it on me. ;0)
OH and if you are wondering what we ate for supper ( mind you this was 5 to 6 p.m.) ZIP,ZILCH,NADDA....the fucking potato skins were it. Check came to $14.01 and he gave the waitress a $2 tip. Wham, bam, thank you maam. :0) I had put a $20 in my pocket and was going to ask him if he would be insulted if I paid for my own meal this first time. Didn't have to....omg,omg,omg.
Oh Boy...he's going to be calling me. OMG,OMG,OMG.  BINGO...maybe I can fix him up with Tracie. LMAO!!!
Now...I know how it is to feel lonely and want conversation, but ............ I can't do it again.
Not with Don anyway.
Am seeing an 80 year old Monday.  LOOK! My friend Pea will vouch for me that I am DAFFY.SHE gave me that nickname...she calls me that in a nice way... I might add. ;0)   I'll be sure and tell you all about my date Monday.  HE is taking me to the Hilltop in Saugus and if you know this area...it's NO 99 restaurant. I've been there a few times moons ago with hubby. I always got full on the huge salad and nice bread. If Ed is like Don...at least I'll be full. ;0)
Hubby will be dead 3 weeks tomorrow and I'm going hoopey. I want out of this house so bad. Even if there was no craziness, I feel that I still would need to go beyond these walls.
Away,away, I'm going away...with the men in the little white coats. la,la,la,  la la

I am getting hit on by men all over the USA. I like the one that says he is in CA, but lives in a motorhome and could come here. Yeah right! No thank you. Then there is a nice looking 71 year old about a two hour drive away and this guy (Chris) knows all the right things and words to say. I've turned him down, but he is still trying to get me to change my mind. He wants to make passionate love to me. Shit, I haven't got laid in years.....should I date him? LOL I said I was DAFFY, acually, I'm daffy and horny, but..... NOT INSANE! ;0)

Ladies...I hope you won't think less of me...when you read this in the morning. ;0)
 Regrets, I'll have a few. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to pee before I go to bed before I piss the bed LAUGHING myself to sleep.
 Psssssssssssssst! I do kiss and tell. I shit you not!
(((hugs)))

That's All Folks!