D D It came to me today

as I was busy struggling to make a dent in the MESS in my kitchen, while I made 2 tubs of potato salad ( son Randy always wants some of mom's good tater salad for his home ), cleaned the dog bowls and mat that was disgusting, (I shit you not!), put a load of laundry in, gave hubby his meds (on time), fed him Wheaties with bluebrerries, arranged and wiped shelves in my fridge to make room for the tater salad, washed dishes, washed more dishes, washed pans ( hard boiled eggs and red taters), washed a mat for Charlene not Charlie and fed her (the mat is to save my new porch from getting dried up spilled cat food on it), put stuff away, cleaned two counters out of four....has anyone given any thought ...EXCEPT MOI...as to what the fuck happens when this baby starts to craw...let alone walk.  My kitchen, diningroom and bathroom floors don't get washed for months on end.  You read that right. MONTHS ON END!  I don't know if it's a "stand off" with Jill and I OR WHAT! I can place a time on when she stopped doing housework almost completely ...back to when she began drinking.
Months go by now between mopping.
I'm no Spring Chicken and if hubby and I were the only two living here, things would not be in the condition they are as fast as they are.
I get so disgusted looking around at things.  I shit you not!
Speaking of Jill.....she came home around 8 p.m. last night after prepping food for and catering a cookout for 150. Changed clothes and left...saying after I asked where she was headed...to the VFW for awhile.  Last time I talked to Gil around midnight he had just spoke to her on the phone ( he called her ) and she said it was just she and the bartender left at the VF.  SO... when I woke around 6 a.m. and headed to the Keurig ,I saw her door open and her bed empty. WTF????
She has to work today prepping food and delivering it to the VFW for after the parade for the vets that will march in up in our town center today at ??? I'd suspect noonish???  It's 9:30 a.m. and she isn't home.  I go between worrying if she is okay and being bullshit.
Butchie has his daughter Alex this weekend, so I know she isn't with him. She isn't wearing his ring, like I thought she was. Not that he didn't ask her to put it back on. She told him NO. ....THIS TIME.  He'll wear her down again.. He always does.

Where was I??? Oh the filthy floors...that don't get swept for weeks and washed for months.  Dog hair everywhere and whatever else gets dropped and ground into the floor.  DISGUSTING!
Gavin was five months old as of the 17th of May.  Tick, Tick,Tick!

I'm going back out into the kitchen and plug away some more. WHY??? For the life of me, I don't know. It doesn't bother anyone else but me, so in that case ...I'm ELECTED to do what I can, when I can. It  must be nice to be able to turn a blind eye to the fucking mess inside this house.
I wouldn't know! I shit you not!

Happy Memorial Day. Son Randy had to take down our tall flag pole...it has seen better days and I bought one you mount on the house/fence,etc. yesterday at the grocery store and son Randy put it up before he left for the day.:0) Hubby was happy. So was I. All the men and women that have died or been wounded ( some terribly ) need to always be remembered for their sacrifice.
I hear the front door.... could it be??? YEP her...JILL.  Getting a late start on her job today,,,Wanted to say who fault is that but herself . Kept my mouth shut. Didn't keep my mouth shut on what I thought of her staying out all might whe all that was left at the bar was ..her and the bartender Al. Some people WORRY, I told her. I'm sorry ,she said. The she went right into the song... I had the time of my life. 
My feelings on that are....is he fucking going to marry her and provide a roof over her head. That would be GREAT NEWS to my tired ears.  Thought hit me that it was JUST GREAT SEX....wham bam, thank you mamm....I don't want the worries and resposibility of taking on a wife and family. :0(
My thoughts are racing ahead of me.... Take my daughter..pleeeeze!   I want to be able to sing...I had the time of my life at her wedding. :0)

Grandson Ryan just came with baby  things Gavin has outgrown.
I asked Gilby to do a few things for me and he did. Trash out....things put in a shed ( where ever they could fit!)  In our converstion earlier today,( after I yelled at him ), he told me I am not on the correct amount of Xanax. I have the lowest dose. Needs to be increased.  Told me he was taking two good sized doses un- prescribed) last year and he didn't give a shit about anything or anyone.  Lost a good two months of his life. THAT was after I told him I didn't think there was any amount of drugs I could take to make the shit house in distress not bother me. Beg to differ with you, he said.Then told me that story.

And just when I think things could not get worst....they do. Grandson Ryan came with all of the baby items Gavin does not use anymore. Swing, bassinet and MORE to put in the attic. Climbed the drop down stairs...looked around with his eyes and said..."it looks like an episode of Hoarders up here. I told him to stack them in the parlor where I just cleaned a bunch of shit out and ask his mother to take them to her storage unit.....THOSE and the fucking XBOX band stuff. Drums, guitars that are covered in dust in the parlor and taking up SPACE. They haven't been touched in over a year. OH yeah ...five pair of ice skates too that sat in there all winter ( too warm to form ice on the ponds, etc. )
THEN...he said, I'll be back later nana with Sarah, the baby and a few friends. I bought steak tips, etc. and bought potato salad.  OMG! We'll have potato salad coming out our ass.
Livingroom did look like it had a chance of seeing some rug and having a straight path to walk. :0(
My Xanax is only .5 mils. I TOOK A SECOND. Gil tells me that I WILL BE FINE. Things will just bounce off of me easier. I CAN DIG IT!  Next doctor visit I want my Xanax UPPED!
NOW I need to shower, even if I didn't plan to at this hour....for when his company comes.
Second pills not working yet, cause I GIVE A SHIT ON WHAT MY APPEARANCE IS LIKE when Ryan's friends come!
Son Randy should be here soon and my B/P will rise. He does THAT to me and I do THAT to him.
(((hugs)))

I'm a WTCH! Was born in Salem,MA and if Elizabeth Warren( you know who the fuck I'm speaking of, can claim indian heritage....I can clearly state I'm a witch...or is that a BITCH. Depends on whom you are taking to, I guess. ;0)

That's All Folks!